The Perfect Buddy.

The Idea.

Was it just fate? Was I destined to be as miserable as this for the rest of my life? There'd been so many points where I felt like this, where it just seemed like there was no point to trudge forward. Maybe there wasn't, maybe I was overthinking.

Probably the latter.

I managed to tear my eyes from the screen to save my eyes the strain from something I wasn't even watching. I could feel a small red hot rage bubbling in the back of my mind at how crappy these shows were, and how they never even played the cartoon I grew up with- but those feelings just never came out anymore. It was so rare that I expressed my anger, I just didn't have the energy. It was a chore. The feeling would go away soon anyway, especially as I was somewhat spacing out. 
I somewhat missed taking my anger out on dumb, completely pointless things. I wouldn't have been bored, I could vent some of my frustration out, but I'd become so drained of everything that I couldn't even do that anymore.

I wanted to do something. I wanted to use my time to do something that would make me happy. Even if it was just for five minutes. But even then, what did make me happy? Sure I'd previously felt better than I have now, but for the most part, it was just because I was more awake, or I'd found something in the fridge that was edible. Maybe I should be posing a different question.
What would make me happy?
Well, that's easy, but all of my answers would involve money and a bustling social life. I was unemployed and no one talked to me.

Then.. what would make me happy that I could currently do?
...
Nothing, really. 
I did feel pretty accomplished when I finished one of my little robots though, or maybe a test-run of something that went well or... but the problem came that I just didn't have any ideas. My brain was so mushy and slow, next to useless. The only thing that sprung to mind was, well, a friend. Someone to talk to. Someone who wouldn't berate me for what I do. Someone who actually acknowledged that I exist. 

Maybe I couldn't get a friend like that, but...

Maybe I could make one.