It was all in my head.
The high pitched cry
the silky smooth skin,
the clean, fresh smell,
the tiny finger nails,
the big curious eyes.
None of it was real, it was all fake.
I imagined the light bundle in my arms and the soft feel of the cheeks.
I imagined it all.
I dreamt of a tiny pair of woven booties and soft cotton jumpsuits.
Of the smallest of the fingernails and the saddest of tears my mind was abundant with thoughts of a baby that would never be.
Forever a mental thought, never a physical.
Forever in my mind, never to be seen.
Tears continuously rolling down my cheeks, a heart never mending but only breaking, aching with guilt.
