dear dumbass,
slept shit last night, luckily I wasn't doing anything important today otherwise I would've been screwed. there was no particular reason I couldn't sleep, just kept tossing and turning. when I finally fell asleep I swear I had been dreaming because I woke up crying again.
mom wasn't here when I got up. She's still not here either and it's 7 pm. I called her earlier to make sure she was ok, she's at work, the hospital called her in. something about some dude who got into a car crash idk. she said to not wait up for her because she doesn't know how long she's gonna be there, as per fkn usual.
my brothers at his dad's still. Because moms always working, Darren didn't think I was responsible enough to take care of Jay. I told mom I would be able to look after him and that he didn't have to stay there if he didn't want to, but his dad did the whole, he's my son and if I wanna look after him I can bla bla bla . to be completely honest anything that comes out of Darren's mouth is complete and utter bullshit. I mean what it's been 7, 8 years since he left and he still thinks he's in the position to make demands.
so yeah now for the next couple of weeks he's gonna be there, which leaves me home alone quite often. being home alone is amazing at first, getting to do whatever u want when you want to, but over time, it gets boring and lonely. but it's whatever, I mean it's not like he's dead so eventually, he's gonna be back.
Earlier on I checked the work that I have to do before I go back to school, and I am officially screwed. Rose is coming over tomorrow and we're gonna try and work through it, out of our friendship group, which consists of me, Alex, and Rose, she is the smartest one. then because she staying, we're gonna drink vodka and talk to strangers online, as we always do. And with her staying it ensures that I'm going to sleep tomorrow night.
don't ask me why, but when I'm with somebody else, I sleep perfectly fine, but when I'm alone, it's as if sleeping is a chore. anyways I've gotta go, gotta shower, and tha
night :)
I shut the lid on my laptop and put it on the floor of my bedroom.
with a sigh, I put my headphones in and put my playlist on shuffle
Life has been so dull lately,
all the days just seem to blend into one,
its as if time has no meaning
like its irrelevant
I switched my lamp on and pottered around my room for a little while, cleaning up the mess that had collected
" How does this even happen, all I do is sit on my bed " I murmured to myself
after a little while, I hopped in the shower, leaving my phone on the side to play
the water was cold at first, shocking my skin,
as the water warmed up, the song changed, now playing daddy issues by the neighborhood,
this song always reminds me of rose and Alex,
* flashback*
" Alex put a song on "
" you put a song on Riley, I don't know what to put on "
"I can't fkn think of any, that's why I told you to dumbass"
