Dear Meg

Chapter 1 - Not Knowing

Date - April 12th, 2020

I sat on my bedroom floor with my back against my wall, wondering why my own sister, who I loved and looked up to, would take her own life. A billion questions rolled through my head and I was overwhelmed with them all at once.

Why would she do this?

Was it something I did?

Did she know we all loved her?

Nothing seemed to make sense. She never showed any signs of wanting to take her own life. She was the perfect big sister in my eyes and I always looked up to her. She was beautiful. Blonde, tall, big blue eyes. She did well in school. Always had great grades. She had amazing friends. Her little group of five. Her, Harley (her boyfriend), Lillie (her best friend), Zach, and Mal.

She was popular but never showed it. Her and her friends were always the ideal friend group. Smart, beautiful and handsome, and kind. They always made sure to be kind to everyone no matter what.

So, with her amazing life, why is she now gone? And not only is she gone, but she wanted to be gone.

"Emilie? Hon, are you okay?"

Mom had been trying to get me out of my room for weeks now. I hadn't come out unless I had to.

"I'm okay, mom," I whispered back. I wasn't ready to face the world after the death of my sister. I loved her too much.

"Emilie, I know this has been very hard on you because you and Meg were very close, but do you think it would help to visit a therapist?"

I could hear Mom start to cry at the mention of Meg's name, and I didn't blame her one bit. She and Meg were very close. They did nail and hair salon trips every once in a while, and they always had a Saturday brunch together to catch up on life. Mom loved Meg a lot, as did I.

 "Um, yeah, that might help."

"Okay, good. One of my friends requested this therapist and I think you might like her. I'll set up an appointment," she told me.

"Mmhm."

Date - April 13, 2020

I heard a knock on my door and realized that it was Mom.

"Emilie, sweetie, you have to go to school today. I let you take a couple weeks off because I know how hard it's been on you, but you have to go back."

Last night, I cried myself to sleep, as I did every night following Meg's death.

"Okay."

"Em, I also set up an appointment with that therapist. Her name is Dr. Lynn. It's set for tomorrow at 3:15. We'll go right after I pick you up from school."

"Alright," I replied as I got up and started to get ready. I put on a tank top that was a shade of light pink and a pair of black jeans. I really wasn't in the mood to dress up anymore than that. I slid on my white converse and chose to only apply waterproof mascara. I looked at myself in the mirror and remembered that I actually had to do my hair again. I put it up into a high ponytail so that it would match my outfit.

I went down the stairs and sat at the table. Mom had set out all of our cereals and the milk jug. I chose one and sat at the table.

"When's dad getting back?" I asked.

Dad was away on a business trip, as always. He had to leave a week ago, which was roughly 1 month after my sister's death. He didn't want to leave because he wanted to help us through Meg's death, but he had to go, because this trip could potentially land him a promotion that could make him the head of his law firm.