We begin our story of pathetic proportions with our so called "heroes".
Dan "Tactical" Duck: A man with a strange addiction to Mountain Dew and marijuana smoothies.
Willow "Love" Yiu (it's French): I think she's a Canadian tree that's in the army and likes bagged milk..? I honestly don't know.
Coolit Soopernover: The first woman in Dan's harem.
Cro Magnon: He's asian.
Reshy "Majesty" Reshiram: Damn she really likes that progressive rock band.
Monsoon "Dark" Gaemeng (it's Swahili): Damn he really likes that progressive rock band and bagged milk.
Vel "Destroyer" The (his parents were drug addicts): He likes adult films and pretended to be an 11 year old even though he's 14.
Serious Gaemeng: He likes adult films and pretended to be a 14 year old even though he's 11.
Nova: Nobody likes him and nobody knows why.
And the biggest dickhead of them all:
Orange "Orange" Orange: Some guy with an obsession with oranges, slang and yelling.
So unfortunately we will be stuck with these 10 stooges for a while until they eventually die, as the narrator of this tragic romance I assure you; you will hate them, and you will be glad when I kill them.
Oops.
Spoilers.
