Going Down (The Captain / Julian)

Chapter 3

Kitty had worked herself into a maelstrom of hysterics and was flapping her hands over tear-brimmed eyes. Mary was attempting to console her, rubbing hard circles into her back and muttering, soothingly. Thomas was white-faced and pacing in his stupid shoes and Fanny was blanketing everyone with a hard stare. Julian, on the other hand, was lounging across the entire sofa, hands laced as a pillow under the back of his head, with one leg swung over the other. The perfect picture of not-bothered.

"But - what - if - Alison - stops - seeing - me?!" Kitty forced through hiccoughing. "I - can't - have - a - best - friend - who - can't - see - me!"

"She can still see you, Kitty," Pat said, reassuringly. "She could only not see Julian for a little bit. It's all fine now!"

"And what if we all start falling through the floor without a moment's notice to prepare?" Fanny added. "It would be most improper. Imagine if one was walking in a room above the lavatory!"

"It's only Julian having - um - problems," Pat said. Julian gave him a roll of his eyes, the poor attempt at tact not going unnoticed. "And there's no reason to think it's going to spread."

Julian tried to tune out the room. Of course there was no reason for anyone to worry. Alison had regained her ability to see him as soon as he could again connect with solid ground, and it was only the Captain immediately calling a house meeting that had ruined any chance of Julian sweeping all of this under the carpet. If the man had just kept quiet instead of panicking, instead of instantly launching into battle stations, instead of... well, instead of exactly what it was in his character to do, they could have circumvented all alarm. Julian wasn't even sure what the Captain had told them. As soon as they had realised what had happened, he had raced out, hell to leather, and the next thing Julian knew he was being manhandled by a suspicious Robin into the drawing room. At least when he was accosted in such a manner in life, he had an iota of an idea of what crime (or crimes) he was required to adamantly deny.

"Could spread, though," Robin said. Pat shot him a glare which indicated how unhelpful that was at the same time Kitty dissolved into another bout of crying. Robin's eyes widened defensively. "What? Is true!"

"Let's try to be optimistic, shall we?" Pat said through a plastered smile. He finally turned to Julian, who bounced one leg expectantly. "So. Have you been doing anything unusual lately that might of spurred this on?"

"I'm a trouser-less ghost who haunts the halls of a stately home. Define 'unusual'." Julian grinned his favourite blithe number 12, supplementing appropriately with air quotes.

"He's a bad spirit. Got the devil inside him," Mary said, putting herself firmly between Kitty and Julian. She waggled her blackened finger at him, accusingly. "I knew it from the moment he stepped in this house that he was in league with Satan."

"Now, now - calm down, dear," Julian swept his legs over, switching to a sitting position and stretching his hands out in a placating motion. Mary's eyes narrowed and she pushed the still weeping Kitty even further away. "I've certainly been accused of being in liege with many an uncomfortable fellow. Gaddafi. Saddam. Bill Oddie. But never the actual... well, you know. Also, the devil doesn't exist."

All the ghosts bar Pat and Robin inhaled violently in shock.

"And just to bring the debate home, God doesn't exist either."

"My word, he is collaborating with the devil," Fanny spat, clutching her hands to her chest. "I've never heard such blasphemy."

"Oh, have you not?" Julian put a bit of welly into his voice as he rose up, making Fanny step backwards in trepidation. "Because I've got some bloody good blasphemes that I wouldn't mind giving a good airing."