Welcome to the internet

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( this is going to be a texting chapter)

Ein:
Aphmau!!!!

Aphmau💜: what ein????

Ein : Welcome to the Internet! Have a look around~

Aphmau💜: ????

Ein: anything that brain of yours can think can be found~

Ein: we've got mountains of content-

Aphmau💜: Ein what the fuck are you talking about!?!?

Ein: Some better, some worse if none of it's of interest to you, you'd be the first~

Aphmau💜: ein....

Ein: Welcome to the Internet! Come and take a seat would you like to see the news or any famous women's feet? There's no need to panic;

Aphmau💜: ein what-why would I want to see any woman's feet???!!

Ein: this isn't a test,HAHA just nod or shake your head, and we'll do the rest.

Aphmau💜 who's we!?

Ein: Welcome to the Internet! What would you prefer? Would you like to fight for civil rights or tweet a racial slur? Be happy! Be horny! Be bursting with rage! We've got a million different ways to engage!

Aphmau💜: ...

Ein: welcome to the Internet! Put your cares aside here's a tip for straining pasta; here's a nine year old who died we've got movies and doctors and fantasy sports!~

Aphmau💜: Ein!

Ein: and a bunch or colored pencil drawings of all the different characters in Harry Potter fucking each other!

Aphmau💜: 😳

Ein: hehe welcome to the Internet! Hold onto your socks 'cause a random guy just sent you pictures of his cock they are grainy and off putting; he just sent you more don't act surprised——you know you like it, you whore!!~

Aphmau💜: 😱 Ein what the fuck!

Ein: see a man get beheaded, get offended, see a shrink show us pictures of your children, tell us every thought you think start a rumor, but a broom, or send a death threat to a boomer or dm a girl and groom her; do a zoom or a find a tumor in your-

Aphmau💜: find a tumor where?

Ein: here's a healthy breakfast option, you should kill your mom here's why women never fuck you, here's how you can build a bomb!!

Aphmau💜: ...

Ein: which power ranger are you? Take this quirky quiz. Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids~

Ein: could I interest you in everything all of the time? A little bit of everything all of the time apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime! Anything and everything all of the time!~

Ein: could I interest you in everything all of the time? A little bit of everything all of the time apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime! Anything and everything all of the time!~

Ein: ....

Ein: you know, it wasn't always like this.

Aphmau💜: I ummm

Ein: not very long ago, just before your time right before the towers fell, circa '99
This was catalogs, travel blogs, a chat room or two we set our sights and spent our nights waiting for you!

Aphmau💜: I'm going to find you now 😒

Ein: you, insatiable you mommy let you use her iPad; you were barely two~~

Ein: and it did all the things we designed it to do now, look at you! Oh, look at you!

Ein: you, you! Unstoppable, watchable your time is now, your insides out, honey, how you grew~

Ein: and if we stick together, who knows what we'll do? It was always the plan to put the world in your hand~

Aphmau💜: really!?!?

Ein: HAHAHAHA

Ein: could I interest you in everything all of the time? A bit of everything all of the time.

Ein: apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime anything and everything all of the time!~

Ein: could I interest you in everything all of the time? A bit of everything all of the time. Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime anything and everything and anything and everything and anything and everything all of the time!!!

Aphmau💜 : what happened ein?

Ein: wait you don't know the song.....

Aphmau💜: ooooohh it's a song 😅

Ein:😓

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 14, 2021 ⏰

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