I promise (Fairy Tail fanfic) (Nalu)

Chapter 1 - Into Oblivion

It's amazing how fast things can change. How fast your world can go from perfect to completely destroyed in a few seconds. This was one of those times. It's also one of them things where it's hard to believe it would ever happen to you. Sadly, for me, it was a reality I couldn't escape.

"LUCY"

I remember the way he was sprawled on the ground unable to move. Usually I would be in the same state as him at this point but something was different this time. I usually felt useless compared to him but this time the was a fire inside of me that couldn't be extinguished, a fight to save all the others who had lost their fight. It would put my life at risk, but that was a risk I was willing to take for Fairy Tail, my family. A family who had saved me a hundred times before. Natsu who had saved me a million times before and always kept me safe. It was my time to repay the favour.

"Lucy don't do it, you'll get yourself killed"

"Don't worry Natsu, i'll save everyone, i'll keep you alive."

I knew what I was doing, I knew once it all happened there was no going back but I was okay with the results that were possibly to follow.  If I managed to save everyone I would have repaid a debt that was never expected to be paid but personally needed to happen. The chance, the slightest little chance, that I would come out a live was something I could deal with because either way I knew deep down I was doing the right thing. It wasn't only a debt I was repaying though, it felt like it was my fate to do this, a gut instinct maybe? For some reason I was meant to be in this place, at this moment to save these people. 

"Lucy, please, don't worry about me. I'm sure there is another way then this. I couldn't live with myself knowing you put your life at risk for me and I couldn't help. Lucy, please?"

"It's time to return all those favours I owe you Natsu, from when you saved me"

"You don't owe me anything, being with you is all I need"

"We promised to protect each other, that's what i'll do. Don't worry you'll see me again one day Natsu"

Natsu, he tried but from the moment this fight had began my fate was sealed and there was nothing he could have done about it. I took a stance in front of one of Zeref's most powerful demons and starting chanting words of which I didn't understand myself. The demon shock and trembled at the might of its own power but I stood with no fear, no anger, no regret. A burst of light came from my body. I saw my fingers slowly start to disappear, then my arms, and the rest of my body. 

 Don't forget me Natsu, you'll see me again one day.

Natsu POV

Bang Bang Bang

Hitting my head against the wall, the normal ritual of my day. Thinking of her. It feels like forever sense she... I forget how long it has really been. The days are long and fade into one another making it had to keep track of time, and place. I forget where I am sometimes, even while im in my own house. My head becomes so fogged I can barely think straight.

Lucy.

I wonder where she is, if she is still alive even. Who am I kidding, she is dead and there is nothing I can do about it but for some reason, even after all this time, nothing feels right, it still feels surreal. I try and stay optimistic but how can you when everything points towards the negative, why did she have to go?

She vanished into thin air after protecting me. I don't know why I couldn't save her myself. I'd rather it be me than her but doesn't everybody? In any circumstance everyone wishes it was them or someone else in the deceased's place but what happens happens.

They say once you loss someone you go through the however many stages of grief before you move on, for me life just keeps getting harder and harder and it just never ends or get easier. There is barely a moment where Lucy isn't on my mind. I don't even need things to remind me of her, she is just stuck in there, eager to remind me of the memories we had or the experiences we will no longer be able to have together.

The fact she has gone hurts but I think the memories hurt even more. I had to tear down the pictures, notes and quest slips from my wall to make it that slightest bit more bearable.  The hardest to take down was the daybreak quest slip. The first mission that Lucy and I did together, as a team. I will never forget the way Lucy looked in that maids outfit or how persistent she was in finding out what was really written in the book. I can never forget.

What I would give just to see her beautiful smile. To hear her soft voice and touch her angelic hair. To feel the warmth of her existence one last time. However, deep down I know there is nothing left I can do for Lucy.

Lucy.

Lucy.

Lucy.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"Natsu are you home?" 

"Go away, I don't want to talk if that's why you're here."

The front door of my house opens and there stands Erza with a disappointed but somehow also mothering look on her face. "I'm actually here to see if you're still alive. You haven't come to the guild in at least a month, everyone started thinking that, you know, you might have "ended it". I came here to check up on you and try and get you to come visit the guild at least, maybe even do a job? Who knows how you feed yourself without money."

"I make do." I bluntly respond. I have had no patience for others anymore. I have no patience for just about anything, it comes of as rude but at this point in time I can't control how I feel.

"Can you at least talk to Happy then. He has gotten so depressed since you started spending less and less time at the guild and with him. He spends ninety percent of the time sulking in the furthest corner of the guild by himself. Even if Carla tries to talk to him, he will say the bare minimum. I know you're hurting Natsu but you have to try to make some effort to move on. The rest of us have and we felt just as guilty."

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL." Once the yelling starts I can't stop it, my emotions just run wild. "HOW DARE YOU EVER THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH. I COULD STILL FUNCTION WHEN LUCY GAVE HER LIFE AND I COULD HAVE SAVED HER BUT I DIDN'T. I COULDN'T GET OFF THE DAMN FLOOR AND SAVE HER BECAUSE I'M WEAK. AND BECAUSE OF THAT SHE IS GONE AND PROBABLY NEVER COMING BACK." Tears run down my face and I have finally lost control of everything going on around me. I have finally lost what little grip I had on reality. My legs decide to give way and i'm left there crying my eyes out, like a little girl, on the floor of my house.

Arms surround me and a hand rubs my back. I am then sat up with my face in Erza's direction. "Look i'm sorry and yeah I guess I don't fully understand your situation at the moment, I shouldn't have crossed that line, but please for the sake of Lucy, come to the guild. I'm sure she wouldn't be happy with the way you are reacting at the moment. She would just want you to be happy and get on with your life."

Erza is right, that is probably exactly what Lucy would want me to do. I nod my head slowly to show understanding and slowly pull myself back together again. "And i'm also sorry for yelling at you like that, it wasn't necessary."

"You are forgiven, now I don't mean to pry but do you think you will be visiting the guild anything time soon?"

"I'll try to make the effort to come tomorrow, I promise."

Erza ruffs up my hair and gives me a smile. "I'll leave you to it then, get some decent sleep, you look tired. I'll tell everyone you are coming and i'll make a special mention for them not to say anything stupid, okay?"

"Alright, bye Erza. And thanks I guess?" She leaves my house but before closing the door she turns to look at me one last time and gives me a reassuring smile.

Once she has left I realize I feel a bit better, I don't know if it's the fact that i've seen someone for the first time in ages or I how I was able to let all my anger out. Either way, I hope the feeling can stay a while.