Ineffable

56 | GREEN IS NOT A HAPPY EMOTION

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Noah

Insomnia, after a long time, feels like a foreign concept to me.

I never used to sleep or, even if I did, I would wake up within an hour. But, now, I feel the sunlight falling on my closed eyes and I know I slept through the night.

Putting an arm over my eyes, I try to not be greedy and just wake up from this slumber. When I do, I see her first.

I can spend my mornings just looking—scratch that, I can spend every moment of the day just looking at her and never be bored of it.

Sunlight illuminates Bella's small frame, curled into the comforter beside me. Mouth slightly ajar, her slow breaths on my skin spreads warmth throughout my body. She is sleeping with one of her hands tucked under her cheeks while another one is on my bare chest.

I am at peace.

Not completely healed but I feel a certain kind of relief. Talking about Luna, after years, is difficult but I am glad I talked to Bella about her. All these years, the only way I'd been coping with the loss was by reading her journals.

Still, there's a dull ache in my chest when I remember Luna. And then, there's anger. Like I had that day, red hot and searing were all directed towards the man Luna called Dad. He's still alive and in jail but I want to believe that there is an even darker place for that man, something worse than hell.

I regret a lot of things I've done but punching and almost killing that man—no, I don't.

A soft nudge on my arm and all the anger shimmers away, quickly. I focus my gaze back on Bella, who lets out a soft purr and nestles her face against my arm.

The act is so bizarre that, for a long moment, my body just switches off until my mind and I will it to function. A moment late and my predictions about Bella being the death of me would've been true.

I roll my eyes at my carnal self and sigh, looking back at Bella. I brush my knuckle against her cheek and she lets out a small smile as if she likes that. And to prove that, her cheeks start to shine with that lovely shade of red.

I've never come across anyone who blushes so fucking easily but damn, I like the idea of her blushing all because of me. So much that I want to do it for the rest of my life.

Dearest Brain?

Yeah.

Shut the fuck up.

Suddenly, Bella mumbles, "Pancakes."

I shut my eyes, slowly letting out a laugh. What's up with this girl and naming food in her sleep?

Yes, I've teased her about that she might've been saying my name—which she does, sometimes but most of the time, it is either food or random words. Last night, it was spaghetti and band.

But that just makes an idea worm its way into my head and firmly root itself. I lean and kiss her head. I put another pillow on both her sides—just in case, before getting out of the bed without waking her up.

***

Iris

Out of all the things I hope for, I hope to never wake up with a headache and that too, in the late morning. If it was a school day, I would've been disastrously late.