Juniper (Harry Styles)

Chapter 5 He Always Will

So I designed a shell
Kept me from Heaven and Hell
And I had hit a low
Was all I let myself know
Yeah I had locked my heart
I was imprisoned by dark

June 24, 2015

Harry Edward Styles sat on soft grass, leaning his head on the headstone of his Juni's grave. He just sat there, staring at nothing particular and wondered what it would have been like if his Juni was alive. He would have a small family by now, him, Juni and their child. He wondered what their little child would've looked like. He pictured innocent oceanic blue eyes staring up at him in wonder. He pictured him running his finger through soft auburn curls of his baby. He pictured him, Juni and their child going on vacation when their baby was old enough. He pictured them walking by the blue ocean bay, holding each other's hand. He pictured their happily ever after.

Drops of tears ran down his cheeks as he took out Juni's and his baby's ultrasound picture from his jeans pocket and stared at it.

One year; one year of pure; torturous Hell, he thought.

It was Juni's death anniversary. It has been very hard since he was released from jail, since he found out that his Juni was no longer in this world. His attempt of killing himself had failed when the guard had came to check on him and had found him lying unconscious on the floor. He was taken to the hospital soon after that and was treated before he lost to much blood. Since then life has been the same for him, dull, draggy and Hell-ish. He felt like an automated machine; waking, going to Uni, then an hour session with the his therapist, late night shifts at the new restaurant he worked, returning back home knackered and going straight to bed. He has been doing the same routine for last one year. His therapist Dr. Ricardo Smith always encouraged him to go out, make new friends and enjoy being young. But Harry refused to do any of that because for him, he does not deserve any sort of happiness.

Because for him, he was still a pathetic coward who could not save his Juni.

Because for him; he still was the reason why his Juni and their baby were not in this world.

****

Tears fall to the beat
Smile through pain
Feel the acid rain
I ain't ready

August 25th, 2017

Harry applauded together with other guests as the bride and groom kissed. He wondered how it would've felt like if he and Juni were the ones who were marrying instead of Charlie and Ava. Harry would've been the luckiest man in the world. His Juni would've looked like an untouchable Godess of Beauty. dressed in ivory lace dress, her luscious fiery red hair running down her waist in smooth, silky waves and her beguiling blues shining with pure joy.

It would've been the best day of his life.

He sighed sadly and shook his head. He should not think about Juni, his new therapist in London Dr. Nicole James had said to him. It was not his fault that his Juni died. It's just that God had other plans for him, she said. He tried everyday to convince himself that it was not his fault.

But his heart was not ready to believe it yet.

His heart was healing slowly and it was still not ready for forgiveness and love

****

Now I am strong
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My love, look what you can do
I am mending, I'll be with you

January !, 2020

Harry Edward Styles' gaze was fixed on Arden as she pulled off the hideous Christmas jumper. Underneath the ugly jumper, she was wearing a black camisole which enhanced her tall, curvy body. Her olive skin was glowing under the light, her jet black curls ran down her waist and her big midnight black eyes stared at him with lust and admiration.

Harry felt something jolt inside him; his heart. It started beating wildly. His emotions towards the woman standing in front of him was raw and carnal.

He had first met her when she had came to his tattoo parlour to get tatted. She was a woman who suffered from trypanophobia and wanted to get a tattoo. How ironic, Harry chuckled. Arden Elizabeth Deyes was a very loud woman who fancied talking to anybody and everybody in front of her. Harry had disliked her the moment she had arrived to his tattoo parlour laughing and talking loudly on her phone. What a non-stop chatter box, he had thought. But what he had not known at that moment was the same chatter box will be the one to make his heart start beating again, make him smile, laugh and mostly feel something again. He was numb and hollow before he met her and now he laughs, jokes, cries. He does all the things that normal people do.

Arden Elizabeth Deyes was a very persuasive and persistent woman who had a different and good way with words. She was quirky, nerdy and cursed like a sailor.

After she had got her first tattoo of her parents' name, she started coming to the parlour every month to get a new tattoo. And that is how their friendship started. She was very patient with Harry. It was as if she knew his heart was broken into pieces and she slowly, carefully mended it. Still a part of him loved Juni, he always will. But, now it was time to let go.

And now after two years of being friends with Arden, there they were, in his parlour on New Year. Arden was getting a new tattoo of a rising sun on her stomach to signify the beginning of something new. It was a new beginning for Harry too.

He knew it was not his fault that Juni died. There was nothing he could have done. He was ready to let go of the past and start fresh.

He locked his gaze with grinning Arden and..

Now his heart was mended and it was ready to love again.

****
And here it is the final chapter of Juniper. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please vote if you did. Feel free to leave comments.
Songs of this chapter are:
Dressed In Black by Sia
Eye of the Needle by Sia
My love by Sia->
Personally My Love is my favourite one. Other two songs just matched Harry's situation.
Harry's beautiful face->
Thank you for reading this story and yeah, goodbye

Playlist- Juniper
1 Ghost/Haumted by Beyonce
2 Take Me To Church by Hozier
3 Teardrop by Massive Attack
4 Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey
5 My Everything by Ariana Grande
6 Dressed In Black by Sia
7 Eye Of The Needle by Sia
8 My Love by Sia
+ Additional +
9 Half A Heart by One Direction
10 Say Something by A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera
11 Heaven by Beyonce
12 Bloodstream by Ed Sheeran