Some place to cry...

Words are precious.

Rain.
Of course, it's the first thing I wake up to. At least, the silhouettes from the window, riveting my eyes and sparking something in my soul. Something... I am surprised to still feel. My dark bedroom was accompanied by the long, dark shadows of the rain that deceived me and appeared like inky snakes slithering along air. My breath slowed, calm. I adjusted my eyes to my specs on the nightstand arms reach to my left.

I don't want to get up. Waiting to rot here seems nice. Unfortunately, I yawned, trying to keep the urge to stretch at ease. But the thing that instantly lightened my mood was my silky dark hair that I'm all too proud of.

It's working.

My hand brushed through my messy mess of strands, allowing me to let out a self smile. Feels weird to do nowadays. My sudden burst of enthusiasm was barely enough to make me sit up and crawl out of bed. Pains all over my body started to creep, I sigh, rubbing my eyes as if I would see any better than I can't.

When I was just about to look for it, my phone shook with a *BZZT* under my pillow. Followed by more shakes. I grab and unlock it, almost immediately turning on this app. A few of my friends and I made this social network a few years ago with little to no hope it would blow up as much as it did.

It was only us, just a few of us. Until a hundred randos logged on and before we knew it, thousands of people made accounts in under a year. We were burnt out updating, monitoring, evolving this app. My college days were spent with countless nights staying up on this... disappointment while also struggling to catch up on my studies.

Majored in Botany but didn't make it far. Now I'm at a dead end where I have to help keep this cesspool of a website running.

But, the rain is pretty nice. The little pitter patter and pouring got heavier as I lied down here with my thoughts.

Now I'm up, fully- I mean. I hazily pick up my glasses and it took a second for my eyes to feel normal. Another thing I noticed, briefly giving me hope; some areas I feel... heavier.

It's working.

Here's something rare- it smells like tame, stagnant sweat. And then the scent disappeared. It comes and goes. I haven't showered for a while. It's tiring. I shiver, grasping my pale skinny arms from the shitty inconsistent air conditioning. The roar was silent, though, loud like annoying scream if you were to really listen to it. Passive aggressive and easy to overlook. Same.

I just remembered I was going to... check my phone? It went to sleep- lucky- and I am met with 200 notifications on my profile page. I scroll down on discovery trying to ignore this drama between these two Mobians. I know one of them... "Piper_The_Mousey" or something. Almost three hundred followers away from surpassing me. I should get to know more people, but the past hasn't been so kind to me.

There's a group of friends I used to be in but they ignored me... it made me feel invisible. Looking back, I should've talked more but they never gave me the chance. It's a shame, they cared about one another immensely and all I wanted was to be a part of something like that. All I ever wanted was a group of people who cared for and supported me. Of course I had to somehow mess up this promising future with them.

I just up and left the server on Chirpcord. It feels weird, to do something like leave a server on an app you helped develop. I bet it would feel even stranger to get blocked on the app. Never happened to me. Usually I'm the one doing the blocking- cutting off the toxic assholes in my life. I'm not like the others- I don't take away someone's permissions once I block them. Some people call me, "The nice admin", and I hope to keep things that way.

Speaking of which, I take a look at my direct messages. Something from Cider. That's what he's been calling himself after we basically peer pressured him into getting a username. I enter the chat and of course his first message is,