My precious underwear

Getting older

When I was 14. I've started to get to the age where I'm horny so I try some sex videos
couple times. I then I realized I don't like boys as much as I did I mean I had 2 boyfriends before then. I guess I wasn't at the age where they made me want to get undressed in front of them at all i think it was I just wanted a boyfriend because everyone else had a boyfriend.
I'm 14 what do I want to do. I look up a video about kink tried a couple them.I stoped at what ever watching videos and then I come across a girl in a pull-up. I kinda liked diapers at the time it ended up growing on me, so I ended having all this stuff in mind. I looked at this stuff researched at night for a couple months. looked up things like how to get put in diapers again and stuff like that and I decided to put on my "I don't care what happens to them panties," on and I would go to sleep and wake up like at usual time 8 and pee the bed on purpose! Then pretend I'm a sleep. when my mom comes in here and she smells the pee, wakes me up and cleans me up. I'll wait two days later to do the same and then like 4 days later do the same thing and kinda switching up the timeline from 4 days to 3 days to 2 days 2 1 day apart.
until my mom suggests I have night time protection but it only lasted like 4 or 5 times I "wet the bed" bunny ear fingers so it signifies that I wasn't actually wetting the bed on accident. So my mom suggested it and to go to the doctor on Saturday which from then I remember it was like a day or so later but I didn't realize night time protection was putting a absorbent mat to put under me I was kinda scared to go to the doctor.I don't know what they are going to do to me say that I have nothing wrong with me. until I fell asleep that night wet the bed for real this time I actually was kinda upset I wasn't actually letting a little bit out at a time so I wouldn't feel super soaked.I woke up at the middle of the night went strait to my cold wet crotch I called my mom on my phone told her I wet the bed. She tells me it's alright but I mean it kinda just rolled off the mat I guess because my sheets were wet again. and I told her I don't like the fact that I was "wetting the bed" maybe I can wear diapers again I forgot how they feel and I know the past 3 weeks has been get up wash my sheets.
I didn't say it like that I said it like I was not considered way so it seems like I didn't really want them. "But" I was curious about them but so I would not have wet sheets. all in reality to wear them for comfort or to feel some type of way.