I'm not okay

Prologue 1: I've told you! It's "Ridder"

Ridder sat on his bed, looking at nothing in particular. After a bit, he stared at his slippers, his gaze going to his dresser after that. Dresses and suits, skirts and pants. A few pretty, feminine blouses here and there, overshadowed by the large quantity of sweatshirts and polo shirts. He sighed, finally standing up and walking to the pile of clothes on a chair, pulling a pair of jeans from it. Then, he grabbed a gray sweatshirt and a black jacket, and went into his bathroom to take a bath and change his clothes. Going out, he looked at himself in the mirror, ruffling his pink, shoulder-length hair and brushing his teeth.

Before leaving his room, he grabbed his backpack, stuffing a few dresses and skirts in it and opening the door.

The boy walked downstairs, hurring to the door. He managed to avoid his parents. Good. That way he wouldn't get questioned about the bundle in his backpack formed by his clothes. Ridder moved swiftly through the streets, knowing his way around. He arrived at a small, worn-down house, petting the dog outside and knocking on the door. A little girl opened the door smiling at the boy. "Hey, Lulu. Here, I brought you more clothes." Opening his backpack, he gave the pieces of clothing to the girl.

"Ridder, can you stay here and play with us~?" Lulu asked after taking the dresses and skirts.

"I'm sorry, I have to go to school. It's one of my last days, I can't miss it."

The girl nodded sadly, waving goodbye to Ridder as he walked away, to his school.

As he arrived, he held his head high, looking around. This was one of the last times he'd see his classmates before going to Switzerland. He spotted a group of girls who were looking at him, giggling and talking. "Hey, doll. Ah, I love your blouse. It's pretty, just like you~" Ridder winked at a girl, who blushed at his compliment. He walked away, hearing the girls fangirling over him. Would they be acting the same way if they knew what he was?

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He sat down once he got to the classroom, putting his feet on the table and closing his eyes. However, the peace didn't last long, as he heard footsteps and giggling getting closer to him. Sighing, he opened his eyes, only to see a bunch of girls snickering at him. "Oh, Lizzie, darling. I didn't see you there." One of the girls said. He ignored her, closing his eyes again. "Lizzie, dear." The girl spoke again, walking next to his desk and poking his arm.

"Karen, I've told you and everyone else before. It's Ridder, not Lizzie."

"Oh, but you're a girl, aren't you?"

"Why? Want a girlfriend?"

Karen scoffed, and her friends gasped. "I'm straight, you know that."

"Maybe you are now, but darling, I can make anyone gay in five seconds flat." With his British accent, Ridder deadpanned, before standing up and walking away.

Karen had been his classmate since kindergarten, and she was the only person at his school that kept on calling him Lizzie. He hated that.

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The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Ridder went back home, and crossed out another day in his calendar. Three more school days before vacations was all he'd have to take. Just a few more weeks, and then he'd leave for Switzerland. And while he would miss some things about London, like Lulu and her family, Cookie and Potato —Lulu's dogs—, and most people at school, he wanted to start over as Ridder, and a boarding school was the best chance he'd get.