Dear Diary...

Why are we doing that to us again? Oh yeah cause Marie had that brilliant little idea and everyone supported them cause she is our little princess and most likely the host...
Okay
Okay I'll introduce us and explain since no one else seems to care to write anything down after deciding that we are doing this...

I am Helena, but call me Hel (pronounced like Hell) I go by any pronouns but NOT she/her.

I will write everyone's pronouns down and if I see anyone misgendering one of us on purpose I will block and report you, I don't care!

Why the feminine name then? Well Marie named me and I won't upset them at any cost plus I like the nickname.
I identify as non-binary (and not specifically defined) and I am lesbian. Not that it would matter at all but since this is our diary I have to state some of the facts I guess.

Now to the hopefully clearing points cause I may have confused some people that are hypothetically reading this.

Why are you reading this again? Your business I guess.

We are a d.i.d. system with very different alters. D.I.D. system is basically many alters/personalities in one body most likely but not exclusively caused by trauma.
So on to the next alter

Ashley (we all call him Ash and no I don't have a clue why all of those feminine names)
Ash is gender fluid and goes by all pronouns. We most likely use male or neutral pronouns for them but she is fine with she/her too. They aren't very communicative with us and we assume that he is pan romantic and Ace cause she never had sexual feelings for anyone when they fronted but definitely felt romantic towards different people so idk. (I know almost everything our "brain" does bout our alters cause I am chilling most times in the headspace when I am not fronting. I hate those memory gaps and I am a protector so I shouldn't miss triggers)
Ash can be described as a very artsy and concentrated person. He is doing most of our art stuff like drawing, writing poems or playing piano. She is very quiet and sensitive and sometimes won't even go to the headspace within weeks for no obvious reasons. I think they might be scared of our depressed phases but I haven't found out what triggers him and it annoys me not knowing much about them. Less information less protection.

Next in line is the already mentioned "brain" or "dad" in our system. His name is Chriz but on some days Chrizzy so so depending on day form he goes by he/him or she/her. He isn't upset when someone accidentally misgenders him but he will meticulously correct everyone until they get it or are so pissed at him that they don't even want to refer to him as a person (yes you annoy the shit outa me Chriz IDC that you are in the headspace you piss me off with your correction issues. I am maybe gonna put some mistakes in this text on purpose so you don't get you perfect introduction I don't care) If you watched bnha he is like Iida but even more "correct" and awkward. I think he is as straight as a line but since he never ever had any kinda feeling towards anyone in a romantic or sexual way I am gonna label him double ace. Since he is now embarrassed and won't tell me I will state that as a yes for being Ace.

Next in line is Cassian or just Cas. He is our gamerboy and is thirsting over all kinds of- OKAY I'll stop chill. Chriz always has to snitch anything... Like I was trying to say: Cas is straight. He/him pronouns, thirsts over girls like a teenage boy and loves to play games "with the boys" and yes we all suck at gaming but who cares.

Okay now Lils. Lils or Lilly is one of two Littles in our system. She can be very cute and just an adorable little girl or she is playing the Lillith out and is being a total brat. Most times she sweetly asks to front and we let her color something that ash drew, watch something child friendly or let her play with some of the few stuffies Marie hasn't burned or banned yet.
When she's being a brat she will force herself fronting and is throwing a huge tantrum or does some crap she isn't supposed to. That's not often mostly she's just a little gibberish angel but when she does it's extreme and everyone just tries to keep her safe and happy so she won't force front in public.

D. There isn't much to say for D. D is double Ace, goes by they/them/it pronouns and doesn't do much. It will randomly force front when they front at all or force front in very humiliating or triggering times. It doesn't feel anything but sometimes it listens to me and "brain". I think it knows that we to are trying to protect and does thing for us when it's urgent. It's not that good in masking so fronting in public isn't good when it has its phases when it doesn't listen to us.

And last but definitely not least is Marie. She goes by all pronouns but is mostly used to she/her cause she is the host of our female born body (together with me but that's complicated)
She is non-binary and pan and currently in a relationship with another enby person.
She does age regress so she's the second little but not all the time and mostly she just gets clingy and moody and cuddly when she age regresses.

I haven't properly introduced myself?
Okay.
I am a rude sarcastic ignorant bitch that hates being female and a system. That hates their life and themselves more then anything and that hurts this body. I am the protector.
I am the pain
The hate
The trauma
It all started with me
And if we won't see some doc that fixes us
I might as well be the end.