"Disappointment."
"Really? Why?"
"Hmm, let me give you an example." He made a large finger frame of the dark sky, one eye shut. I leaned over and looked at the picture through it. "You stare at the foggy night sky, searching for the stars, but all you see is the blurred glimmer of the unattainable." He lowered his hands to my height. "Dissatisfaction may as well be the fickle mistress in place of fortune, for she leaves you desperate to reach for more and more of what you cannot hope to gain. The lure of the dim orbs from behind the misty curtains is greater than that of the brightest star, for it beckons you to come find it in all its glory."
"Or, you could simply put on your glasses."
"Buzzkill," he muttered, as he pulled them out of his pocket.
"Says the one whose favourite word is disappointment."
"And I gave a beautiful analogy for it. On the spot, too."
"Fair enough."
He chuckled. He looked up at the stars. I wondered what he thought of the image in that eccentric head of his. What it looked like to his eyes.
"It's so pretty."
"The moon?"
"The balance. So...pleasing."
"What is balanced?"
"You think now, and I've stopped thinking too much. It's almost like it was always supposed to happen."
A car raced past us, accelerating at an unruly pace, disrupting the night. It was gone in a flash, but the harassment to my ears triggered a familiar, painful heat's malignant spread across my chest. It took a long minute for air to come back into my lungs, and for me to resume my shaky breathing.
We crossed the street.
"Why did you stop?"
"It was just taking too much of my time. I wasn't actually living."
"Life is about knowing when to do what, and about never doing something that you would consider a mistake in the future. That's what living is; having no regrets."
"Life is about being tricked by love and crying over money. I learned that from a k-drama I ended up despising."
"You watch k-dramas?"
"You don't? You should really start; they're much better than the overrated American trash that's so hyped."
"I watch them."
"Yes! Finally someone who doesn't cringe at their mention. Dude, I've learnt so much from k-dramas, it's unreal."
"This discussion can only continue on one condition."
"Which is?"
"No Lee Min-ho. None of him."
He laughed. "Of course. Wasn't that a given?"
That night, as I walked up the stairs to my home, I realised what I was missing in my life.
I opened the door and walked inside, feeling euphoric revelations speed my heartbeat. A quick, exciting heat spread rapidly across my chest; it invigorated me, and I felt myself smile for no reason, and laugh out of nowhere for the longest time. It felt good. Like wind rushing at your face when you drive like there's no tomorrow. I liked the way it sounded, and it made me laugh more. I felt confused, but this is clearly it. This is the only way it could ever have begun making sense to me.
