Leon x reader -•(One shots)•-

Its alright, im here

REMINDER THAT REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Request by @slushierat

TW! Mentions of self hatred, self harm and negative/depressive thoughts, mentions of blood

You've suffered a lot in the past and that affects you a lot in the present, sometimes things that just remind you to a terrible time made you go on a total depressing and scary moment, you go into panic attacks and depending in how bad it affects you while you hyperventilate or cry senselessly you would dig your nails as deep as you could in your skin sometimes it drove to blood, it hurt but you didn't Pay attention to it.

Today was one of those nights, you were having a panic attack and were hyperventilating like crazy, you even stared feeling a bit dizzy at some point but your tears made your face burn, your throat hurts due to the amounts of sobs leaving it. You scratched your arms a bunch of times but ended now just digging in your nails in your arms. The thoughts and memories in your head would not leave to the point where you began to just murmur to yourself "you're not worth anything, everything is your fault, no one loves you and the people you think they do are only pretending so you don't have to whine like you always do, leon dosent love you, he feels obligated to be with me cause who the fuck would love such a disgusting piece of work like me... I'm not worth anything and will never be" you kept murmuring as you cried and breath rapidly, your arms had a few blood strings due to your nails being dug in it.

Leon was on his way to the bedroom and as he got close by he heard sobbing, he knows about your panic attacks and ptsd, and with the time he has been with you he has learned how to help you more and more to get out of them. So once he heard the sobbing he knew what was going on and entered to the room quickly "(Y/N)? Honey?" He closed the door behind him and slowly got closer to you, he looked at you and then noticed your nails digger in your arms and saw the blood "baby..." he knows that if he is loud you're going to get more scared "(Y/N)..." he sat in front of you and slowly moved to hold your hands "baby... please, it's alright... I'm right here... nothing is wrong" he held your hands and slowly moved them away "it's ok baby, it's ok... I am right here and I'll help you as much as possible, i love you so much and I am here to help you" he took your hands to his lips and kissed them "let's not hurt your beautiful skin, ok?", you stared to calm down your breathing but you were still crying strong.

"I'm so sorry...!" Leon shook his head and kissed your hands again "no no baby, you're no one to blame and I love you so much" Leon slowly let go of one of your hands and cupped your cheek wiping your tears away, you calmed your crying a bit more once you felt more of his touch "...I don't deserve this... I don't deserve your love... I don't deserve love..." you cried a bit "that's a lie (Y/N), it's not good to lie, you know better than anyone on this world that I love you more than anyone and I don't care what you do... I will always stick by your side" you remained quiet and Leon too but eventually he helped you calm you a bit more down by taking deep breaths and just telling you reassurances and praises.

After some time you finally calmed down though you were still quite down because you hate bothering Leon when it comes to this kind of stuff, he is not responsible for any of this and you feel bad every time he has to come at your side to just calm you down, you feel like a bother. Leon was rubbing your cheek with his thumb as he looked at you "are you feeling better dear?" He said but you just looked down feeling embarrassed "what is it honey? Is something still bothering you?" You stayed quiet again "...you don't have to speak but I want to help you feel better sweetheart, if there's something I can do please tell me" you sniffed and stayed quiet for a bit longer but eventually spoke "you don't have to do that..." Leon looked at you confused "what do you mean?" You sighed and kept looking down for some more "...I don't want to bother you with my stupid problems... I feel at this point that you just feel obligated to do it which you really are not... it's just me being stupid and I don't deserve your help, I'm just a burden" Leon remained quiet for sometime trying to understand everything you just said "(Y/N)" he called and you looked at him with sad tired eyes "yes?" He looked at you and then pulled you to a hug you were not expecting "where de hell did you got those ideas? Honey... I love you so much and there is nothing that I want more that for you to be happy and smiling, if you're feeling unhappy or you get a panic attack I will be there to help you because I want you to be feeling your best... I love you so much honey... you're not a burden and will never be to me", You stayed quiet and slowly returned the hug as a few more tears dropped "th-thank you Leon... I love you too" he kissed your temple and hugged you again "don't mention it honey"

For the  rest of the night you felt so much better