Euphoria

Prologue

Its very loud in this arena, to the point I couldn't even hear my own voice. everyone was having fun, they were cheering so loudly while the idols dance and sang like there's no tomorrow.

I can't help but to look at the whole arena, look at these people who made an effort to be here, they dedicated not only their money, effort, they gave the idols their love. Seeing them raising their light sticks, singing with their idols, jumping and cheering, made me realize many things.

These people here, are just a tiny portion of the fans that belongs to the group of theodore. For months I think I had forgotten the fact that theodore is part of the group they call "Core". One of the groups that's striving in the music industry not only here in the philippines but pretty much the world.

They have billions of fans all around the world, that also means billions of eyes, billions of expectations.

I came back to reality when my best friend tapped my shoulder, because she knew I was spacing out

"hey, okay ka lang? kanina kapa ganyan eh", audrey said it with a concern voice

'no, I'm not okay'  my unsaid words

"yeah I'm fine, baka gutom lang to", then I laughed to ease the tension.

then the fans started to scream this fan chant while the core members are still performing.

I went here to support my bestfriend, and to watch him for the last time. I also went here to see for myself, how far he is from me. na hindi ako bagay sa mundo nya.

na realize ko na, yes we are stepping in the same place, breathing the same air, looking at the same places/things, pero napakalayo parin namin sa isat isa. He's a dream, me? well. I'm a mess.

I stole a glance, tinignan ko lang sya habang sumasayaw and It's clear na sumusulyap din sya sa gawi ko. not just once but many times. there's longing and sadness in his eyes, still he's trying to smile for the camera and the fans.

his eyes didn't left me, thats why some people started to notice. kaya I broked the eye contact myself.

"nakakairita naman yan"

"look oh, theo is looking at her kanina pa"

"chararat naman"

"malaki kasi sakop, hahaha"

yun yung narinig ko mula sa part namin, those hurtful words, galing palang yon sa side namin, imagine ano sinasabi ng buong arena ngayon. I could feel lots of gaze looking to me.

"let them be nalang, palibhasa mga inggit", parinig naman ni audrey sa ibang tao beside us

mukha din naman narinig nila ito at medyo napikon na din

"hayaan mo nalang sila, lets just get this over with.", sabi ko kay audrey na may ngiti sa labi

mukhang hindi parin tumitigil magbulungan yung mga tao sa paligid, I can tell na sumusulyap pa din si theo dito.

I endured all the hurtful words na naririnig ko kanina pa, and I ignored na din yung mga tingin nilang lahat saken, even him.

I'm making the right choice, this is whats best for the both of us.

right?

many songs came up, still I enjoyed myself, I tried to wash all my worries away by letting it all out. I was screaming and cheering until its my last day in this world.

Everything seemed so perfect, like it was a dream. Everything was so vibrant, it looks like everyone is happy. I'm watching him he's smiling while looking at me, cheering for their group. Its like I didn't want this to end.