A Light in the Dark (Kim Jongin)

Chapter Three

  "What is it like being blind?" as soon as the words escaped his lips, Jongin winced, hoping he didn't sound insensitive. He didn't know why he asked the question but it was something he had been pondering on ever since he met Aera. 

  He glanced over at her, wondering if she was offended. She was sitting on the floor of the practice room beside him with her back to the cream wall and Jongin was relieved to see that she did not look offended. Aera never looked looked cross or harried. But just in case, he added, "If you don't mind sharing."

    "Oh not at all. I'm kind of glad you asked," she said, tilting her head thoughtfully. "Most people are afraid to ask me because they feel ashamed of having what I don't. So they avoid it like it's a taboo topic."  She turned her head towards him. "So what do you want to know about blindness?"

  Jongin scooted across the floor to face Aera. "Is it hard? Being blind?" he asked before he realized how brainless he sounded. He silently cursed himself.

  But Aera didn't seem to mind. "Hard? Well, you could say that," she said "It was extremely difficult at the very beginning. And terrifying. But with time, I learned to live with it. To accept it-"

  Jongin couldn't stop himself from interrupting, "Wait, so you mean you weren't-"

  "No. I wasn't born blind," she replied calmly. "It was an accident." 

  "Oh," Jongin said. She didn't elaborate on it and though he was curious, he didn't want to pry.

  "Anyway," Aera continued "Like I said, it was very hard at the start. I felt like had I lost everything overnight. I couldn't imagine living like this- living without being able to see anyone or anything. For the longest time, I felt like I was stumbling around in a dark abyss, lost and alone." 

  As she talked, her carob brown eyes travelled around the room, shadowed with distant memories, her gaze like a weightless bird perching on invisible things. Her hair was tied up at the top of her head but a few dark tresses had escaped to frame her face. Looking at her, Jongin felt a swell of sadness and pity.

  "You need not feel sorry for me," Aera said with a small smile like she could read his thoughts. "You don't overcome your wounds, you learn to embrace them and I have learned to live with it. Blindness is part of me the way the stars are part of the night sky." 

  Jogin pursed his lips and nodded. "What made you not give up?" he asked.

  Her eyes filled with a soft light. "Dancing," she said. "There's no greater feeling in this world than moving to a piece of music and letting the rest of the world disappear. For those few minutes, wrapped in the notes and the melodies, I do not need my eyes to see. I can be anyone or anything. Dancing is like.."

  "...dreaming with your feet," finished Jongin. "It is as though you have somehow found a way to sever the chords holding you to earth, and for a moment, if only a fraction of a second, you can fly..." 

  He trailed off as Aera fixed her coffee eyes on him, a surprised smile playing on her amaranthine lips. "That was exactly what I was thinking. How did you know?" she asked.

  "Because I feel the same," he said returning her smile. He had been surprised to hear the same love and passion he felt for dancing in Aera's voice. After his mother died, he never thought he would meet someone who would feel about ballet the way he did. Like him, Aera danced with her heart and soul- danced to forget, to lose herself and find herself at the same time. 

  They sat silently for a few moments, basking in the light of each other's smiles. Then Jongin found his thoughts wandering to a question that had been burning in his mind for sometime. He licked his lips nervously, wondering if he should ask her.