The Boy Dressed in Brown

Chapter 2

I am curled up on the sofa in my apartment, right next to the window, overlooking the city. The lights are off, yet my room is illuminated by the never-sleeping city lights. It is cold and rainy, the lights blurry through the wet window. I feel my phone buzzing under my pillow, but I do not care to pick up and talk to whoever is calling. I only ever get calls from random people, people trying to advertise things they are selling. Not often do I pick up the phone to familiar voice, and in the rare occasion I do it is never someone I am thrilled to hear from.

I love sitting here, thinking. Doing nothing else but swimming in my own head. Sometimes the thoughts are warm and calming. And sometimes, more often than not, it is torture inside my own mind. Sometimes I do things I regret, and then sit wallowing in my guilt for hours later.

I do still adore it though, even if it is torturous, I feel I deserve the pain my mind drags me through.

Today, it is not pain that I think of. It is not even one of those days of better thoughts. Today my mind is plagued with a face, a warm breath, a whisper.

His perfectly carved nose, just slightly tilted up at the end. And his never ending eyes, as if I could reach into them and never stop reaching.
His hair is brown and thick, it falls down either side of his face just reaching the middle of his ears.

I think of a boy. What a stupid thing to think about. As if I am some young teenage girl fawning over boy who has probably forgotten about me already. What an innocent thought. Made for innocent minds.

How I wish that was my biggest problem. How I wish I could worry and ponder over silly things like that. Some days I don't even know what I'm worrying about. Some days I am just drowsy. Those days are usually the best.

Torture.
Torture.
Torture.
And more torture.

That is what my life is.

But just for today, I'll act like a little girl. 

That boy runs back into my thought. His warm breath caressing my ear ever so carefully. Just a tickle.

I would like to find him. I smile at the thought of what that would look like. If I walked back into that small little bookshop and saw him huddled in a corner, flipping through the books. He's in the romance section of course, and he is smiling at the copy of Pride and Prejudice that lays open in his hands. Maybe he would be a fantasy reader. I smile again at the thought of him with A court of thorns and roses in his hands.

I can imagine his laugh when he reaches to the part where feyre throws her shoe at rhysands head. I can imagine his hands too. Rough and calloused. I can imagine how they would feel against my ear, in replacement of his breath.

I have to get up, I tell myself. I cannot keep sitting here. I have things to do. I haven't eaten all day. The hunger gnaws at my numb stomach and I know u must take care of myself now.

I swing my legs over the sofa and leave my room, heading for the kitchen. I flick on the light and rummage around in the fridge until I find a half appetising meal.

I slump down onto the chair on the dining table and shove the sandwich in my mouth, not bothering to savour the taste, and when I'm done I go and lie back down again.

All other work can wait a few hours at least.

A/N: filler chapter. Sorry it's so short i just don't have much to write right now. Don't hesitate to point out any mistakes in grammar or spelling as it's not fully edited yet and be sure to comment any ideas or things you want me to put in for future chapters.