The nights deep, cold wind blows, flakes of snow's falling sparkling like small beads into the night sky. The night's so cold, lonely and quiet, and so myself is. Standing into this lonely place all over again, it's only you who kept running through my head.
"It's been so many years already. Wei Ying where are you?"
I've been looking and searching for you all along, went to a places where you could have been through, but I couldn't find you, no traces of you anywhere, I feel so lost and anxious. I regretted a lot of things, if only I tightened my gripped more on your wrist then you wouldn't fall into that cliff, if only I didn't let go of your hand, if only I was strong enough to pull you up, I could've saved you, Wei Ying.
I will do the every possible way just to find you, even if it'll cost me so much, I don't care. I've realized a lot of things, regrets and sorrow keeps haunting me. I must find you.
If you aren't in this world, could be that you're in the modern world? I want to take the risk, if not now then when? I will find you, I have hopes up. No matter how much it'll cost me I will do it, I won't hesitate, this is my only way.
And so I did. I went to the modern world where I could possibly find you. It's not that easy, it took me a lot of time to figured out how could i be here. And now that I'm here I've searched you everywhere. I'm not so familiar with this world, everything's so weird and scary, would I able to see you here? But I won't give up just like that I won't give up with a mere reason, I won't waste any time here, i will find you quickly and will take you back with me, Wei Ying.
Days and nights that I didn't even rest, I don't feel hungry, I don't eat but it's all paid of because I found you finally. You're indeed in this world, my heart keeps racing, beating, pounding, thumping so bad the moment I laid my eyes upon you.
But why does your appearance changed so much? Your hair become short, but that bright smile of yours still remains in you, those sparkling eyes that's full of life. Finally, I found you Wei Ying.
I didn't get close to you that instant, I'm afraid I'll scare you, I don't want that. I could only follow you everywhere you goes. Watching you from afar, watching your every moves the way you smiles to those strangers you get to meet on your way. That's is so you, you look so happy and that's makes me uneasy.
How could I bring you back? How could i approach you and introduce myself? How could I tell you who am I? Will you be able to recognize me? Will you remember my name? Will you go back with me? I've searched you for so many many years, and now that I found you, why am I still feel a little helpless? The chance already in front of me, but why do I feel afraid to show up in front of you?
I followed you wherever you go, but seeing you so joyful and so energetic everytime makes the scenes on that cliff would suddenly popped out in my head. How I was gripping your wrist while you were looking at me with those expressions, your bloody lips, red eyes full of tears, your faint sobs, how you begged me to let go of your hand. It'll all started to flash in my head so clearly, I regretted it, I regretted so many things.
But when the moment I finally gathered all my courage to face you, to tell you who I am, to take you with me and bring you back, to ask you so many things, then someone suddenly came to interrupt what I have to do.
You smiled at him so sweetly, I froze when I saw it. That kind of smile you showed him was really different of how you smiles to those strangers you only met once. There's really something about it, and again I feel uneasy.
I found you finally, but you were with this guy named Lan Zhan. Yes, it's me. In this world, there's a you, Wei Ying, but you also have a Lan Zhan in here. How am I supposed to bring you back with me? You look so happy when you're together with him. My heart keeps pounding.
I've come here to find you, but I realized that you, Wei Ying is already belong to the Lan Zhan here, I can't take you with me, can't bring you back. I can't take you away with him, and you both look so happy. What should I do? I don't wanna take you away from him. I know how it feels if someone's very important to you suddenly disappears.
Once again, I lost. I'm just gonna turn my back and leave this world and return to our world, where you and me really belonged. I don't belong in here, but I won't give up in searching for you. I will still find you.
Just one glance and I'll be off, you both should be happy and live an amazing and wonderful life together. If I'll find Wei Ying, I'll tell him that I found the him and me in this world. The me in here looks really alike, he looks cold but when he looks at the you in here were so gentle. I kind of envy them, could we possibly be like them too? How ridiculous of me to think about this way.
I have limited time, I have to go back. I'll be off, it's nice seeing the two of you here. I'll take my leave. But as soon as I turned my back-
"Lan zhan!!" You called my name, did you recognize me? Or I am not the Lan Zhan you're calling out. My body became stiff, I couldn't move. That voice of yours, it really belongs to you.
I looked back, and I witnessed that beautiful smile and face of yours. Smiling so brightly in front of me. How did you find out that it's me?
"Please, go back. He's waiting for you." I couldn't believe those words I heard from you.
I came here to look for him, and i found you, but it's so clear that you don't belong to me. You belonged to Lan zhan, to the me in this world.
I couldn't say anything, my tears wanted to come out, but I don't want it to escape from my eyes. I must prevent it falling.
I look at you and to the me who's is only meters away from us, he was just watching with those eyes full of understanding. I'm surprised.
"Believe me, Lan Zhan. He is waiting for you, so please come back." I don't know what to respond, that smile of yours never leaves your face. So bright and so full of happiness.
"I will. I will find him" the only faint words that came out from my mouth.
"Cherish him and love him unconditionally, please, that's my only request" I look at the Lan Zhan who was standing meters away, it was him who said that. My heart thumps.
I was surprised that the me in this world can actually smile at me. Yes, I saw it. He smiled at me for the last time. I watch them for the last time before I finally leave this world. How beautiful they are, I wanted it also.
They said you're waiting for me?
And when I opened my eyes I feel like I was in a very very long dream. My head hurts, it feels realistic, I still can feel the feelings so vividly. But what caught my attention was the heavy feeling above me, it feels so warmth. Like those years that I've been cold was covered up by this kind of warmth instantly.
When I fully gained all of my senses, I found you were on top of me. Sleeping so soundly, the warmth was from you. I can't believe that you're actually here, right now. On top of me, those years that I've longing for you, I just can't believe that you're here with me. I feel like I'm filled up this instant.
My hearts keeps beating so loud, I'm afraid it'll wake you up. How come when I opened my eyes you're actually here with me?? How is this possible? Is there a special reason why I came to the modern world to find you? But when I opened my eyes you're just here with me. I'm so glad and happy.
The scene from that world flashed through my head while you're on my embrace.
"Please, go back. He's waiting for you."
"Please, cherish and love him unconditionally."
All I can I say is that, of course I will. Not because they said it, but because that's how I feel and I really do it for the rest of my life. From now on I will always look after you. You can't disappear again, my Wei Ying. I will cherish and love you with all of me. I have so many things to say to you. But for now, rest. I can be your bed, as long as you're comfortable. Thank you for giving me warmth again.
End
(Just tried writing this oneshot. I am not confident enough to write some fanfic of mdzs. Thank you for reading this : )
