how long do I have to stay lonely and unhappy with myself until someone finds me beautiful?
i was born and handed a blank cut out character, filling it with scars and bruises and slashes across my thighs and stomach.
i feel as if im the only one, that others don't relate to or have chosen to add to their canvas as well.
i feel so alone yet happy.
i love the silence and solitude but I want someone to care about me so deeplyim frightened.
i feel so desperate for a touch of longing, attention, and warmth.
im tired of people losing interest in me and deciding im not worth their oh so precious time.
i try so hard to be what people want but im rejected coldly, left alone to never be
am I too young to be crying out for someone to care?
when will I actually find happiness in this solitary despair?it stopped
the warmth comes close and people are warm
and i feel safe
within these husky, soft voices with calming expressions
and i'm happy
and i realize that maybe we are not all lonely, but just together with ourselves
we can find it in ourselves and can find it in the white noise that consumes our minds, souls, and emotions.
push through the lost black sadness and move into a realm of a false reality of love
and then maybe you will be contempt, just possibly

YOU ARE READING
tests
Poetryi made this when i was fighting my depression alone. i now am much healthier, and have grown a lot since this. i'm keeping this up for myself. to remind me of how far i've come in this journey that is my mental health.