Wispy Daydreams 💕

Chapter 1

What! What? Was that – that was just a dream? Right, right, although it felt so real. I can't quite remember the specifics, but the impression – what? And where exactly am I? I – I can't seem to move? Is there something wrapping around my back? I don't – don't see anything, though. Thoughts are so quick, my heart is pulsating so fast. It won't stop! Is this the rhythm of my last hour? Is this the hymns of death, a flickering melody? C–calm down, Phoebe. Seriously, calm down. Brrrr. Remember your peace. Maintain your balance. Do – don't push yourself. Am I – I'm ready. I'm ready to open my eyes. Remember to just – just breathe. I'm so – so disoriented. That's okay, though.

But where am I? I remember — I was in the middle of a forest shrine, meditating for the first time in a while. Now, I'm in some sort of oasis, in the middle of nothingness, the void. I – I don't know what to think? But just – just focus on happy thoughts. That's something you can control, right? Just keep smiling! Just like mom used to say. This oasis is beautiful! It's teeming with shrubs and red and violet striped swirly flowers laced with an aroma of – alright, this isn't working. I just can't get into it, I guess. Man, why is it so black and foggy? I don't even think my dark vision can cut through this. I'll just have to rely on the light from my eyes and, maybe, those small pockets of shimmering root hugging – hugging each other for warmth and – and safety. I – I wish that could be me.

E–enough distractions, though. What do I do now? I doubt staying here is a good idea, and I shouldn't count on anyone looking for me. What – what brought me here, though, and why? Could it be a person — or thing? Or was it — was it my meditation? I didn't know my mind was open to such change, though. Does – does that vision have the answers — or at least clues? I don't know. Can I replicate what I did? I – I'll try. Close – close your eyes. Trust your subconscious mind. What was your vision?

Show your mind the right direction, show it the path. Guidance is key, it knows the rest. Distractions are accepted, for their existence are the seeds to epiphany and growth. The season is right. I am in bloom. What else? Arcanus spiritus. Pocus — hocus? Wait. Sw–sweet mistress, bless me with health this season? Something, something, I'm bargaining right now. Why isn't anything happening? Um, ohm, ohm, ohm — ohm? P–please? Come on? Okay, okay, guess – guess not.

I – I can't believe it. I wish – wish I was better at composing myself. I have such difficulty concentrating. I don't know – I don't feel like I make meaningful progress — about myself. I meditate to reflect, but it doesn't ever feel processed. It doesn't feel — right? I feel like I'm working towards something, but it all comes crashing down. I just meditated, and I ended up in some – somewhere? Why — why can't I do anything right? Why?

I don't think — I should be worked up over this, not right now. I can't concentrate, though. It's so – so quiet. Or, at least, it would be if my thoughts weren't so damn loud. I wish I could drown them in this oasis. Right? Laughter — is a remedy, I guess. Just — just keep smiling. That – that vision could just be accumulated stress or something. I don't remember the last time I meditated before this. I've just been so – so busy. That could just be an excuse, though. Not like it matters right now. There isn't anything productive about drenching in tears. I should — drink from the oasis. The water looks refreshing.

I feel rejuvenated. But what should I do now? Should I just start walking, see where I end up? I don't know what else to do. There isn't much else here it seems. I guess I don't have a choice. Don't hesitate, though. Don't think about it. Just keep calm and go. Oh – oh sweet bonnibel, set me free. Set me – me free on a wild dream. It has been a while, and despite my smiles, I think I'm about to scream. Humming random songs is comforting. Because of — what? What? The oasis isn't there anymore? I look back, and there is nothing. There isn't even sound anymore. I can't hear my own footsteps. I'm alone. I – I wish mother and brother could be here to comfort me, to wrap their arms around me and tell me that I'm safe, that I'm okay, that I'm strong. I've never been on my own before, like really on my own. I don't know how long I will be. How long has it been? How long have I been walking for? How could I know?

What? What is that? Am I hallucinating? I see — something — behind the curtains, behind the mist. What is it? I can't quite distinguish what it is? But I want to run towards it. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm almost there. What is it? Is that – that a forest? It looks like a forest of – leaves and flowers? I feel so small. This must be what bugs feel like. I mean, I kinda like it! I'm – I'm so happy, so relieved. Man, all these leaves and clovers are breathtaking. Although, I should be careful of the waterfalls streaming from some of them. There are so many flowers, so many colors and patterns! Gold, scarlet, violet, mint, lavender, black, white, cream, cobalt, oh my. Those are funnel shaped, saucer, cup, star, and that one is kinda — kinda a stalk or something? I could just relax here. I could not move for hours, clear my mind and look at the gold, orange, and red sky, a perfect sunset. This one is so on par with the sunsets I used to watch with Marcus. I – I really miss him. I just want him to embrace me again. Isn't that an unsettling thought? Never seeing someone again? But it could be reality. It could be my future, however that lasts. The future is so uncertain and unclear – but so intoxicating.

Oh! There's a — ginormous butterfly in the sky, with an irresistible crimson and gold design! It's like it was made for me, my favorite colors! Although, the patterns on the butterfly are so surreal. I can't tell what they are, but I feel bittersweet looking at them, I think? I could just drift away like a balloon, floating a dream, freedom of the clouds, freedom like that butterfly, hovering like that. But I guess I'm shackled to the ground. Could that ever happen? I've heard tales of people soaring around the world, and it is said great stories have a hint of truth in their function, but I don't know if that would apply in that situation. But I can dream. Just flying around, no matter my presence. I'm just a passenger in time without choice. I'm just a puppet, I guess. I wish I knew my destiny.

Oh man, I'm feeling famished. And when was the last time I took a shower? I smell so, so awful. What's there to eat around here? There might be some berries or something. There has to be some in a forest like this, right? It would be a life saver. I could use the extra for  bathing, too. Although I'd have to find something to crush them. Berries mixed with flower petals works wonders! Or maybe some honey? I suppose I should look around. I should be careful going through this dense overgrowth, though. I don't wanna get my horns – horns caught in anything like last time —— times. Remember how you were taught, just dance and weave. There should be no resistance. There's a lot of shit in the way. I wonder if those bulb vines will show me somewhere. They are rather pretty, the inconvenience of them tangling around my horns aside.

There are so many fruits here! Oh, are those purple makoberries? And red bucuberries? And orberries! I love orberries! And qauvafruit? I don't even know half of these fruits. This one is rough and dark purple. This one is creamy looking and pinkish-orange. Oh, it smells so bitter, and I think that is creamy sap? I think – I think I'll stick with the ones I know. I don't want to eat anything poisonous. This one is yellow and comes from thorny vines. What am I doing? I got orberries right here! There isn't a lot, but I won't complain. These are so juicy and are more nourishing than expected, especially since they often cluster. There is a small creek, too. I should probably drink, even though these berries are thirst quenching enough.