You and I to Hum

1 - My mistake

Anokhi knocked on the office door slowly and waited patiently as worry etched on her face. Worry was not new to her she. Worry has been a constant and faithful companion for years. The past two days have been a perfect example of how much worrying she had to done. Each minute fluctuated between worrying about her studies and career and the other worry about him and why he hasn't called yet.

Realizing that no answer was going to come she slowly opened the door as dread filled her heart as to what she might see. As she walked in she saw him seating at his desk. He didn't even look up to see who entered. She saw perhaps a for the first time how tired he was. His face had combination of anger, sadness and lost look.

"PS..I..I mean... are you..."

She couldn't from her thoughts. Miss debate campion couldn't figure out what to say or how to say it. So finally she settled on the simplest and truest words.

"thank you... thank you for stopping the rustication. I tried to..."

She stopped talking as he finally looked up.

"Why are you saying thank you anokhi. I am the reason for this mess. I forced this marriage on you. So I had to fix it."

As he uttered each word Anokhi felt cold in her heart. This was not her PS. Her PS would fight with her, would argue over and over. And since their wedding, He would smile with a twinkle in his eyes even when frustrated with her.

"PS...I know.. I am so sorry. I should have trusted you... I shouldn't have believed anything.."

"yes anokhi you should have. You should have done many things. But that is the past now and cannot be changed."

He stood up and walked around the desk to stand in front of anokhi. He didn't touch her infact he kept space between them as if they were just director and student.

Anokhi couldn't take it anymore and went close to him and held his hand. He moved away from her hold and turned his back towards her.
"you should go anokhi. Your sister and the acp will be waiting for you"

Anokhi's eyes started to tear up. She felt as if her life was slipping away from her. She couldn't believe that her PS was telling her to leave. She had flashback of all the times that he stopped her from leaving...all the times he told her to not to go away from him to stay close.

She closed her eyes wishing she could turn back time and redo the last hour of her life. Yes she got her career and education but she lost him - her heart, her life, her PS. She was about to take a step away from him. When she remembered the time of her previous rustication when they bumped into each other outside. She was running away then too but he told her to fight for herself.

Just like that she made a decision. Today was the first and last time she will ever doubt him or his intentions. She will never make this mistake every again. Her relationship - no their relationship will be her first priority. All this time she thought that her career and ambition and shaurya are two different things that needed to be balanced. But this wasn't true shaurya was her love and life.

She had to make him her priority just as he was making her his priority. Since she was his priority  he was embracing everything about her as his. Her ambition, her career, her goals were becoming his now. He was taking on her dreams as his own and working hard to make them a reality. So why did she hold herself back. She had to embrace him as he did her. She should support him and guide him just as he did her.

They both had their own weakness and strength and as a couple they had to acknowledge the strength in each other and help overcome each other's weakness.  As anokhi had these epiphany's she realized how big of a mistake she made today. She took back her step and stood there ready to fight with her PS for their own relationship.