Surprisingly You (You Series)

Aria

Aria

I don't remember the first thing I said to him. I'm not even sure if it made sense because in that moment that I laid eyes on him all I could think about was how I wished I could tell his parents they made the most perfect man I had ever seen. I wanted to die for just a second so I could go up and thank god for that extra time he spent making that crinkle in his nose and putting the stars into his eyes.

I couldn't think about anything else. I hope he forgave me when I asked him to say it again the first time that he told me he loved me because I could listen to him say it a million times over.

I'll never be able to tell him when I fell for him, but I knew when he could just pick up that tool box of corny jokes and fix every bad day. I knew my day was incomplete if I didn't get to see him smile. I knew when I wished his laugh could be sent as my ringtone just to hear my favorite sound.

I knew when it became a reflex. Like breathing and blinking, every day I wake up and I love him. I'll never stop...but...

We're just friends.

We say it all the time but I can't seem to make it through a conversation without thinking about kissing him. I can't focus when he looks at me like that. I can't breathe when he brushes up against me.

We're just friends.

Every time he says it a little piece of me dies insides because my skin is on fire burning to feel his touch. He says it's platonic, but it's beautiful, chemical. How can I platonically know that he loves being kissed on the back of his shoulder? That he loves laying down on the driveway every time it storms because he loves the smell of rain. How we can drive for two hours just to dance in front of the headlights in some random place in the middle of nowhere because we just make it feel like ours.

I can't bear the thought of watching him fall in love without me, with anyone that isn't me. I'd support him even though the idea of him kissing someone else makes my skin crawl, even though I've never gotten to feel his lips against mine, because all I've ever wanted is for him to find all the happiness in this world.

Even though every time he gets hurt, I'm the one that picks up the pieces and puts him back together. Every time they leave, I'm the one who's still there. He deserves a love that would stay.

He always knows the perfect things to say. I cling to his words as he whispered them into the nape of my neck, while dancing with me at prom, they dripped with promises that I didn't care knowing they were empty just because at that moment they were meant for me.

When he made a mistake, I always looked the other well, when he fell short, I made up for it. When he stopped loving me...I loved him harder. I constantly accepted his bare minimum and my everything was just never enough for him.

I gave him so much of me that I had nothing left for myself and I am coming to the realization more and more every day that he will never understand that kind of love, and that is truly tragic because I was going to give it to him. Nothing is more breakable than someone who loves too much and someone who will never love enough.

But for some reason, he still owns my heart, and I think he always will.

a/n (These poems were found on tiktok, and changed slightly to create one big one.)