the dark place in his head

breathe...please

"Siriiiuusss baby please dont go to band lessonsss"-rem
"Sorry baby i have to!"-siri
"Whhyyyy!!!"-r
"Do you want me to quit?"-s
"I dunno"-r
"Do you want me to give up on drum lessons or something?"-s
"Maybe.."-r
"Is there a good reason why you want me to stop the drums is it too noisy or am I just absolute shit?"-s
"NOO!!"-r
"Then Whyyy can I just reschedule for tomorrow or something you can come with if you want?"-r
"I wanna stay here with youuu sirii!"-rem wined
*sirius started texting the person who teaches him drums*-sorry can't make it today can I just make it in a couple days instead?-he texted
-No you have to come today mate unless theres an emergency?-the teacher replyed
-Alright I'll see you soon then-sirius wrote
*sirius put his phone back in his pocket*
"Remus I'm sorry but I have to go I tryed rescheduling but I can't only unless it's an emergency I really have to go"-s
"Ok..."*rem sounded very disappointed*
"I'm so sorry"*sirius kissed him but
Rem dodged it*
see you later*he walked inside and
sirius frowned*
"huh that was werid..."-he muttered, sirius walked off to his drum lessons
Remus walked inside went upstairs and locked himself in their room*

Half an hour later sirius comes home early

"Wheres remus?"-s
"He's in his room readingIsolating himself from everyone else haha per usual"-reg
"I shall be right back!"-s*he went to find remus he went to the room but the door was locked*
"Open the door please rem?"-s
Remus didnt answer*
"Remmm open the door!!!"-s
*Something heavy fell on the floor and the door clicked Sirius opended the door Remus was in the corner in an old shirt and shorts looking at a photo album*
"Hey rem!"-s
"Hi Why arent you at class"-r
"It got cancelled"-s
"You shouldn't have cancelled-r
"Meh"-s
"Go back to class sirius"-r
"Why? You wanted to spend time with me?"-s
"Yeah"-r
"So here i am"-s
"Hello"-r
*Remus flicked his wand and the light went off*
*Sirius was confused*
"He put the book down*
"are you ok?"-r
"Yeah?"-s
"Ok thats good"-r
"Why were you asking?"-s
"No reason"-r
"Okay?...."-s
"Come here"-
"Okay?"-
*sirius went to remus he pulled him onto the floor*
"thanks oh and by the way youve forgotten something..."-r
"What?..."-s
"I shouldn't have to say"-r
*sirius looked confused*
"I love you"-s
"Love you to black"-r
"Who wouldn't Just kidding"-s
"Haha"-r
"Haha......."-s
*Remus moved to the bed and hugged a pillow*
"Okay what happened? You okay?"-s
"You should know and no"-r
"Oh right..."-s
Reg came in*
"hay boys want anything?"-reg
"No thanks brother"- s
"Ok! Rem?"-reg
No I'm okay thanks for the offer though!"-rem
"Ok"-reg
*reg walked away*
"I must be honest here"-s
"What?"-r
"I don't want to die but I just feel sad like all the time ya know and I feel like I have something missing in my life but don't know what"-s
"Haha so do i......"-r
"Yeah-?.."-s
"Yeah Oh by the way..."-r
"Yeah-?"-s
"Happy anniversary black"-rem walked into the bathroom*
"FUCK How... Omg.... That's what I forgot omg..I'm so sorry"-s
*sirius started crying silently*
"H...h..how do I forget that FUCKKKKKK"-s
*Remus came back out*
"dont cry and please stop being so loud"-r
"S....s... sorry"-s
*Rem hugged him*
"its ok"-r
*Sirius just went quiet but never stopped crying*
"Its ok i just wanted to spend today with you thats all"-r
*Sirius shooked his head*
"Yes it is stop crying"-r
*rem wiped sirius's tears away*
"I cant lie i am mad...but i love you..."- "I...I'm mad at myself as well but I guess I always have been"-
"You Dont have to allways blame yourself"-r
"Yeah I do..."-s
"No you don't"-r
"Yes..."-s
"NO YOU DON'T SIRIUS YOU CANT KEEP BLAMING YOURSELF!!!!"-remus burst out and the hole house went quiet*
"For fucks sake.."-remus went to the closet and locked himself in it*
"No don't lock yourself in there"-s
*Remus didnt answer*
"Hey it's okay why dont we go out and gave some fun and enjoy the rest of our anniversary"-s
"Its almost over sirius"-r
"I know...Mainly cause- nevermind umm I'm sorry Im officially the worst boyfriend..... Uhh do you want to cuddle or are you just gonna stay in there or do you want me to go?.."-s
*Remus creaked open the door*
"Come here..."-r
*Sirius got up and went over to Remus*
"Hey baby.."-s
"Im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry"-r
*Remus was curled into a ball shaking*
"No I'm sorry I should have remembered what today was"-s
"No no no no no no It wasnt meant to be like this.."-r
"Huh?"-s
"It was meant to work out perfectly...i was even planning on you going to drums....."-r
"I'm sorry I ruined everything..."-s
"No.."-r
"? .."-s
"It's all happening I dont want thisI hoped you would forget but this is all wrong"-r
"No no no it's not....Please don't say what I think your saying?"-s
"No....."-r
*Rem put his head in his hands he seemed to be sliping into some kind of trance*
"Good..."-s
"Evil...Monster......"-r
*Rem stoped breathing*
"Rem REM!!!"-s
"Never had family...Thay all hate me..."-r
"Remus breatheee please!?"-s
*Rem closed his eyes*
"Allways leave..."-r
*sirius was panicking and crying*
"No no no REM!!"-s
Regulus came up*
"sirius is everything ok?"-reg
"N..no!!"-s
"Whats wrong?"-reg
"Remus!!!!!"-
*He rushed over*
"remus!! Breathe!!"-reg
*sirius was crying so much*
"Remmmm!!! Pleasee!Rem!!!!!!"-s
"Remus listen to us!!!!!"-reg
"Remmmm!! Pleaseee breatheeee I need you!!"-s
*Rem opened his eyes*
"Fucking monster"-rem
"snap out of it Remus pleaseeee"-reg
"Monster"-rem
"Remussss?.."-s
"Evil.."-rem
"Remus?.."-s
"Monster"-rem
*Remus exhailed finally*
"Evil ugly monster...No family...Evil.."-rem
"Remm please listen to usss!!none of this is true!!!!"-s
*Rem started breathing normally but slowly*
*sirius went and picked rem up and put him on the bed so he wasn't in the closet anymore Remus hardly noticed*
"Remm!!"-Sirius shook rem to see if he would snap out of it*
*Remus started crying*
"Evil Ugly Worthless Monster"-rem
"Snap out of it!!!"-s
"Worthless Meant to live in the dark Hunter Murderer He cant love you Only going to hurt him Its wrong He cant love you A sin He cant love you"-rem
"Reggie do you know anything on how to fix him?.."-s
"No!! This hasnt happened to him before!!!!"-reg
"Fuckkkkk Ughhh I shouldn't have fucked things up!I fuck everything up and even my own life Everything is just a mess"-s
"Sirius this isnt your fault "-reg
"It might have been"-s
"Its not this is because hes blaming himself its most likely he can only hear himself screaming....."-reg
"Oh okay"-
"Remus wake up!Rem please it's ok your not in the basement"-reg
"Remus please wake up!! It's gonna be okay your safe I promise you!"-s
"Remus its over your not in the basement!!!hes not here hes not under the bed..."-reg
*rem jolted awake*
"hes here hes here...please dont let him near me.."-remus sounded petrefied and seemed to not realise where he was*
"No he's not Remus it's okay we're at James house We're far away from that place You will never go back there I promise"-s
"Its loud.......and.....scary he follows me..."-rem