WARNING: MENTIONS OF INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT, INCLUDING DIRTY HUMOR! NOTHING EXPLICIT! RATED PG-13! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
The Gang's Antics
Ben: In the end, we're all human beans.
Mike: And together, we will rice.
Zoe: Lettuce pray.
Jawa: Ramen.
Chip: Y'all, that was beautiful.
Erica: What in the world did I just witness?
Jawa: Chip can turn anything into a weapon.
Erica: That's... impossible.
Jawa: Trust me, he can use anything. Even an eggplant.
Erica: How do you weaponize eggplant?
Terrorist: (sobbing as he's being force-fed eggplant disaster by Chip) I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING! JUST MAKE IT STOP!
Erica: ... welp, I can't say you're wrong there...
[while working with US Navy SEALs]
LT: It appears that our prisoner is refusing to cooperate.
Erica: Time for some new tactics, then.
Chief: So, what kind of interrogation methods should we use?
Mike: Chip's cooking dinner now, and he'll serve it when it's ready.
LT: ... how exactly is this useful?
Jawa: He's cooking eggplant with every spice known to man, then burning it.
Chief: ... I knew you CIA people were sick, but that's just inhuman.
[a little later...]
Prisoner: (sobbing) PLEASE! NO MORE! I'LL TALK!
LT: ... I don't know whether to be scared or impressed.
The rest of the SEAL platoon: (impressed applause)
Chip: (laughs like a madman)
Murray: I'll never talk!
Ben: Okay, then. Chip's cooking dinner tonight.
Murray: Wait pLEASE NO I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!
Chip actually trying to cook good: -__-
[the gang captured a SPYDER operative that tried to commit a terrorist attack, and now they're conducting interrogation - DARK HUMOR THAT MIGHT NOT APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN]
SPYDER operative: I'll never talk!
Ben: Well, then, meet my interrogation team.
Ben: He is smoothness (points at Mike, who's the good cop interrogator with coffee)
Ben: He's is grace (points at Jawa, who's the bad cop interrogator with blackmail)
Ben: He will shoot you in the face! (points at Chip, who has an evil grin)
SPYDER operative: Wait, wha—
Chip: (cocks shotgun)
SPYDER operative: (confused screaming)
[or...]
Chip: So, what can I use? Punching? Electrocuting? Waterboarding? Blowtorching?
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Mind the Gap: a Spy School Collection
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