Collared

Chapter 4

Things had been getting better and worse over the last few months. It had been nearly four since I'd split with Eric. And I still hadn't heard from him. Maybe I hadn't meant as much to him as I thought. And I didn't know why the thought bothered me so much. Obviously I knew I didn't mean that much to him. If I had, he never would have abused me like he had. But that didn't stop me from wishing I had meant something. I'd like to think that I would be strong enough to reject him if he came back, but I didn't know if that was true. I wanted to feel wanted again. I wanted to feel desired and beautiful. 

I hadn't felt that in a long time. 

And the scars on my wrists and thighs, the self inflicted ones, they didn't help. Neither did the ones n my back from him. 

I saw my friends more and more except for on the weekend. They spent every weekend at Dynamite. Danny's new Dom was the one apparently. Ellie had been in a contract for a few months, but once again it didn't look like it was going to turn into anything more. Sam was still playing every weekend, usually with a different Dom, although she had a couple she rotated through. She was high off the endless orgasms and the pleasure of submitting to someone, but I didn't understand. I couldn't trust someone I knew with my body let alone a different stranger every night. I wasn't shaming her; I was actually proud of her. She was the sexual free version of herself she'd always imagined she'd be as a submissive. 

The only time I didn't cut was when my friends stayed the night or when I went to the house and spent the night with them. Soon it would just be Sam and Ellie sharing the house. Danny was moving in with Tom. 

We were having one last big sleepover with him before he moved out tonight. 

The BDSM segment at the station was going really well. Sam and Danny had agreed to be interviewed live on air. It was going to be over the phone though and not at the station. Neither of them wanted their parents to know about their kink. Which I could completely understand. I'd been avoiding my parents for months since things had fallen apart with Eric. Some day soon, my mom was just going to show up to my apartment and demand entrance. It's not that I didn't love them. I did. They were great parents. And if they did ever find out that I was a submissive, they'd be nothing but supportive of me. 

Which was weird. 

But true. 

For the segment there as just one piece I was missing; I was still searching for a female Dom. 

I'd just recently gotten into contact with Crystal's son who was going to be the voice of our male dominant in the four week long segment. I'd asked him if he could put me into contact with a female Dom and he said he'd be happy to. 

I didn't know his name, he wanted to be kept completely anonymous, and, other than the time she'd mentioned that he was a Dom, Crystal never talked about her personal life at work. She called it having firm boundaries. She wasn't one to mix business with private matters. All I knew was that she was happily married and that she had at least one son. 

Sitting in my still new and shiny office, the ones I'd been given after my promotion, I pulled up my station email. There was one from Crystal's son. 

Dear Miss Thorne, 

Below I have the contact information for a female Dom. Her name is Taytum and I've been given permission to tell you that. She's the cousin of a close friend. Her phone number is 872-555-0001. 

I received your list of questions and I approve of them. Please make it clear to your jockeys that I will not be talking about anything personal, my name, the name of my club, and if I have a submissive are all off limits. I will gladly give my some of my personal experiences in the lifestyle as examples, general rules and misconceptions, but nothing private.