The Butcher's Daughter

Chapter 19

Not long ago, William told Mabel that there were certain floodgates in her mind. She would have to strengthen them if she wanted to dam her emotions in the line of duty. Desperately, she hunted for fragments of his advice on how to remain still and emotionless as she heard Benjamin Martin say those words. Her eyes fell to the ground where two large great danes were curled at their master's feet. The shadows and sounds of the surrounding waters and trees were magnified, each pant from the dogs was a tiny thunderclap. Though she appeared to be composed on the outside, the inner workings of her body were churning and knotting themselves around one another, tightly. Her heart pounded louder and louder, as though it were suffocating and crying out for help amidst the tangle.

"This used to be a safe place," he proceeded, comfortably seated in one of Lord Cornwallis' stolen furnishings. His words were nothing more than an echo to Mabel's ears, void of any and all content. "But as long as that butcher... that monster is on the prowl, I'm afraid there is no guarantee of safety for innocents such as yourself. That is why I would like to personally return you to Waterford at first light." She didn't acknowledge or respond to this request. "Mabel?"

Her hands, both of them, formed inadvertently into firsts. Her conscience continued to implode violently. She had been pulled away from her identity as an American woman by her father and foolishly devoted herself to fighting for the losing side in a war that she knew the outcome of, if only for the chance to be like William Tavington for a while. All that she ever wanted from the first time he cradled her, half-heartedly in his arms, was to prove herself worthy of his love. How could it be that the man she modeled herself after every day of her life, would cut short the life of the dear, sweet boy whose soul seemed to have been made with hers in mind? "I loved him," she muttered finally. Her words didn't match the contents of her heart. No, what she meant to say was that she loved them both. "I have to leave."

"Leave?" The look of concern that he wore worsened. "I understand that you are upset, Child, but if I were to start allowing civilians to pass through my camp, I would be risking-"

"Your secrecy, yes," Mabel interrupted, "I know more about warfare than you think, Mr. Martin." Although he was clearly puzzled, she was in no mood to explain anything. "Thank you for speaking with me. I know how badly it must have hurt to revisit... everything. I... just... thank you for the warm clothes and the boots. I just have to leave. Now."

"Thomas stopped confiding in me around the time he lost his mother," Benjamin's words halted Mabel's escape. She remained turned, but listened closely. "Even so, he could have talked about you for hours without even stopping to breathe. He told me once what he loved so much about you. Mabel, look at me, sweetheart." As she moved back into view, he smiled at the cast of dirt and grime that still clung to her round, freckled face. "You aren't afraid of a little bit of dirt. You aren't afraid of anything. But you don't have to do everything alone. Stay."

Her weight shifted, her knees weakened. She wanted to leave, first and foremost, to cry in a place that was out of sight. She also knew and understood why Benjamin was looking at her in such a way. She'd seen that look before. It had been worn by Giselle the day that her father died, when they were sitting on the porch together waiting for the ambulance to arrive. It had also graced Annabelle's face when she told Mabel that she would look after her like a mother. She was weary of these 'adoptions', of always bouncing around from one guardian to another.

"If what he has told me is true," she thought, "I will be done with parents forever! I will go deep into the forest where nobody can find me, except for maybe Thomas." Thomas. The name itself made her clench her fists again. He should have told her! Why hadn't he? These questions continued to swim and spin out of control until they made her dizzy.

"My eldest daughter told me that you looked after them while I was... away," he stood and moved towards her when he saw that she was struggling to balance. "That would mean that you knew beforehand that Thomas was gone. I was merely trying to be merciful, to aid in your healing and to warn you of the danger that his killer brings." He attempted to seize her shoulders, but Mabel slipped out of his grip. The friendly dogs swarmed in to console her and Benjamin shooed them away before crouching beside her. "Justice will be served. I will personally see to it that this devil is sent back to hell where he belongs."