RACER

13

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I sat with tears eyes and a red nose as my leg bounced waiting to see Jaemin. After a while Jaemin walked out in cuffs followed by an officer.

"10 minutes starting now"

I sighed hugging into him. "I'm sorry love" he apologised kissing my forehead. "How long have you got" I asked looking into his eyes with my tears ones. "Five years" he sighed looking away from me ashamed. I gripped his face with my hand and forced him to look at me.

"I know it's long but I will wait for you, I promise, you are the only guy who has made me feel loved, you made my heart beat so many times that I'm surprised it hasn't burst, but kiss me, I need to feel your lips for the last time" I mumbled the last part leaning in and slowly kissing his plump lips with my tear soaked ones.

I pulled away and cried in his chest. "Don't cry babe, I don't want to go in remembering your sad face, smile for me" he requested to which I obliged and forced a smile. "Stay safe my love, look after the apartment for me" he said kissing my lips once more before being taken out by the officer.

I sat on the couch staring down at the many empty alcohol bottles and cigarette buds. I used everything to drown out the pain of letting him go.

I wish I could fight for him and get him out of there, I wonder how he's feeling. Does he miss me.

I know I can see him thought the five years but, once a week without feeling his touch wasn't enough, my heart ached for him, I wanted nothing but to feel his warm embrace.

I got out the car and walked up the flights of stairs reaching jisungs apartment. My hair was tied in a messy bun, I had black circles evident under my eyes, I appear slimier and my sense of style has left me.

The door open and jisung winced seeing my depressed state. "We need to get him out" I mumbled letting myself in passing the younger and sitting on the couch.

"I can't get him out but I can get his sentence cut" he offered making a smile appear on my face. "I have a dirty cop on the inside I'm sure he can get his way, you know being too dog and all" jisung chuckled handing me a water bottle.

I sipped the water watching jisung make a call as he looked out the window. I couldn't hear much as he made his voice quieter.

A few minutes later jisung takes a seat and smiles sadly. "He said the most he can cut off is three years" I just nodded understanding. "That's fine, still better than five" I chuckled capping the bottle and standing up. "I better get back, I have class tomorrow" I gave him a smile and headed out to my car after he greeted goodbye.

After a long drive from Busan to Seoul I sat in the car resting my head on the steering wheel as I broke down in tears. I missed him so much.

After my pity party I left the car and went inside taking a hot shower and treating myself to a face mask before heading to bed.

Minju sat at the school gates sucking on her vape as she looked out for me. I sighed and took the vape from her hand and inhaling the vanilla flavoured smoke.

"Hey, since when do you use a vape" she whined walking next to me, "since right now" I mumbled handing back the small machine letting her hide it in her pocket.

"You need to stop moping over him, how about I come over with aki and we can have a movie fest" she suggested taking my hands in hers and smiling at me.

"Sure" I grimaced at the suggestion not really feeling like have the attention of my friends right now but if they think it could work then why not.

Anything to strip away the pain.