To Mother

I'm Sorry

A/N: The names have been switched around so that you won't know my name. I don't feel comfortable with people knowing my name yet. I'll let you know it at 100 followers.

"Jason, could you come here please?" My dad called from his room.

"Mk" I responded, getting up from the couch and walking towards the front side of the house, not entirely sure what to expect.

"What's this?" My dad said, showing a news site I had been on recently, instead of paying attention at school.

"It's a site you can read the news on," I said.

"No, I mean why were you on it?" My dad's tone was slowly getting more aggressive, telling me I needed to find a way to defuse the situation before he started yelling at me, my sister, or my mum for the smallest things, however, there was no opportunity presenting itself at that time.

"What is Wattpad?" My dad accused me, assuming it was a game of some kind.

"It's a site he uses for English." My mum responded sensing that he was about to get angry for nothing also.

My dad continued searching through my history looking for anything that I shouldn't have been on during school.

"What is 'Bottle Cap'?" My dad asked.

"It's a person whose books I read."

"Uh-huh, sure." My dad said, not believing me in the slightest.

"Cooper?" My mum asked, her tone different from usual. I looked towards her and noticed her eyes had become glassy.

"Yeah?" I responded, hoping she hadn't read the 'My Random Thoughts' book. One chapter in particular.

"Is this true?" She then showed me her phone and it had the very specific page I hadn't wanted her to see. Tears welled up in my eyes and she pulled me in for a hug, which was too much. I started crying and found it hard to stop myself, as I had made her upset. Once I had calmed down a bit, she looked me in the eyes.

"Do we need to get a referral for a psychiatrist?"She asked, worried for my sake. After thinking about it for a while, I decided that she wouldn't believe me if I said no, so I simply responded, "Yes." After I had made the decision, we embraced for a little while again and just enjoyed each other's company.

After dinner, and I went to bed, I completely snapped, the guilt of making her upset and worried about my wellbeing was too much for me to handle and I started sobbing, blaming myself for her own grief for half an hour straight. I wrote a letter to her telling her I was sorry for making her sad, as I didn't have the guts to say it to her face. and then fell asleep after that. The rest is unravelling now, as I am writing this.