Kade's shorts

5150

Who's idea was it that you come here?
My psychiatrist..
And what happened that ended up with your being here in the hospital?
The psychiatrist decided that this was the situation for me..
Did he tell you why?
No, the psychiatrist did not.
Has.. anybody told you why?
I am not completely like other people..
What do you mean by that?
People dislike me because.. i am not completely like them
What is it you're trying to do with your life?
Play the piano for people..

~12:00pm July **, 2020~
I woke up grogally looking around. The walls were all white and padded all the way up to the ceiling. The sheets were smother proof and all white just like everything else in the room. The bed, the shelf, everything, all white all the time.
    I'm not really sure what day it is, I'm too groggy to keep track of the days with all the meds they've got me on. They make me feel like a fucking zombie. I know it's been a while since I've been here but I know I'll be out soon. I know how to play the game, pretend to do well, pretend to get better, agree to take my meds, get let out. It's simple.
    There was a knock on the door and the nurse walked in. I watched her as she walked over with a small cup with two pills in it and a small cup of water. "Meds," She said with a friendly smile. She was a young beautiful nurse and she's lucky that I hate it here. If I didn't I'd have killed her my first day here. I wanted to, she was so beautiful and her skin looked so soft, I'd love to cut through it and watch blood drip down it. "Kade?" She snapped me out of my dark thoughts. "Hmm?" I answered, my head swaying slightly. "Meds," She said, handing me the cup. I took it and looked inside.
As per-usual they mixed my lithium with Xanax to keep me balanced. They think it works, so does my momma... it doen't. Thankfully, Nothing will. I know I need help if I wanna be like other people but I don't. I don't wanna be like other people, I wanna be what they fear and they do. I know I've got a past and I know people judge me for it but I don't care. I don't care about anything anymore.
I tipped the cup of pills into my mouth and swallowed them down with the water. "Say Ah," She said. With a blank face I opened my mouth and then lifted my tongue. She inspected my mouth and nodded when she confirmed I swallowed them. "Group is in 5 minutes," She said before exiting, shutting the door behind her. I laid back down on top of the bed crossing my legs and staring at the ceiling waiting to be collected for group.
Group was boring as usual and I ignored most of what was being said but towards the end of group a nurse I'd never seen before pulled me out of group. She led me into a part of the hospital I hadn't seen yet. She opened a door that looked the same as all the others and gestured for me to go in. I looked at her, my eyes glazed as I wavered slightly, "go on," she said, looking at me expectantly. I rolled my eyes at her kind tone and walked into the room. She didn't follow, she only shut the door behind me.
I looked around and it was an office where there was a man sitting behind a desk. "Mr.Kraven?," He asked. I hesitated but nodded slowly. "Please, sit," he said, gesturing to a couch across from him. I sat and took time to look around, this was the first room I'd seen that wasn't all white.
The walls were a blue toned gray with pictures of all colors all over the wall. The desk was a light wood color and the couch was very colorful and soft compared to the smother proof, white, sheets I was used to. I ran my hand across the couch staring down at it. "Kade?," He said, getting my attention. I slowly looked up at him, my eye twitching slightly. "So, who's idea was it that you come here?" The man asked. "My psychiatrist." I mumbled slowly. "And what happened that ended up with you being here in the hospital?," He asked me.
He'd yet to introduce himself nor did he even have a name tag but I didn't really care. "The psychiatrist decided that.. This was the situation for me," I said, my words coming out as a slow but clear mumble. "Did he tell you why?," the man asked. "No the psychiatrist did not," I mumbled. "Has anybody told you why?" He asked. I was getting tried of these stupid fucking question but I had to play the game the best I could. "I am not completely like other people," I said. "What do you mean by that?," He asked. "People dislike me because I am not completely like them," I responded, no longer looking at him and staring off at the corner.
"What is it your trying to do with your life?" He asked me. "Play the piano for other people," I lied looking back at him again. "Is that so?" he asked. I nodded slowly and went back to looking around the colorful room. "So you're on a daily 2g dose of Lithium and Xanax three times a day totaling to 4.5mg a day?" He asked. I had no clue what my medication dosing was but I nodded slowly anyway. "That's maximum doses of a heavy antipsychotic and a strong alprazolam." The man said, I assumed he was a doctor but I wasn't sure of anything anymore. I nodded lazily once more, staring off into space.
He continued to talk but I couldn't hear most of what he was saying. The meds in my system were too loud. "Kade?" he said, catching my attention again. "I said do you think if you were released you'd continue your prescribed medication?," He asked. I nodded, "yes," I said blankly. "Good, then I'm going to recommend you to be released, you should be out by tomorrow," He said. I nodded and he stood up, reaching his hand out. I looked at his hand for a moment before looking back up at him, "what's the date?" I asked. "July 15th."

~July 16, 2020~

"And in other news we have an update on the body found on west 15th street and Waldo, the police tell us they are doing everything they can to find the cruel murderer of a nurse who worked in a nearby mental health facility, assisting the mentally ill,"