Fleeting Immortality

Chapter One

Loneliness becomes a lover, solitude a darling sin- Ian Fleming, 'The Spy Who Loved Me'

An interesting quote..it fits me in a sense. A good half of my life has been dedicated to being alone. Isolating myself from my anger, and living in the shadows of my fear. Being alone brought peace to my mind, brought me ease.

I had one friend..she left me because I was so isolated

I shook her off, thinking I wasn't made for friends anyway.

I thought they'd just slow me down.

Isolating yourself can give you great opportunities to explore yourself. I spent my isolation reading, training my abilities, and quietly observing, as not to disturb the delicate balance of life I saw each and every day. I thought that was the way you should observe things, from a distance, no contact with who or what you were observing. A control group.

The day I decided to experiment was the worst day of my life.

I ventured out into the world armed with a notebook and my mind. I was so used to being by myself, being around so many people was a rush. I felt overwhelmed. The first walk I took in a big town ended up in me feeling dizzy and shaky. I had to sit in a corner to calm myself down, and I stayed there for a while until a man in a black suit looked down at me. He offered a hand and helped me up. I don't remember much of the questions he asked me but it ended up with me going to a luxurious manor, one like my own. I remember I told that man at the moment I didn't have a place to live, and he offered me a job. He was a servant, a butler for a child heir named Alois Trancy..the butler had a name that even to this day I can't get out of my mind.

Claude Faustus

I worked there for a while doing simple things. Cleaning floors, dishes, clothes..it was tedious but I didn't know how to deny a kind offer. And a part of me believed this stranger was kind, and actually cared for me.

I was wrong

One day I was carrying linens upstairs when I felt a hand on my shoulder, He grabbed me and dragged me off to a corner, pinning me there talking about how he knew who I was and how much I was worth to him and others. I faked like I didn't know what he meant...I'm a terrible liar.

I was dragged downstairs to an old stone basement and I was chained to a wall with iron cuffs. My skin burned terribly and as much as I didn't want to I started to cry. I remember everything that happened to me down there. He used me, threatened to turn me over to those who wanted my abilities, my power, my soul. Every time I denied a request he would beat me and just threatened me more. I was stupid enough to start an argument with him. I yelled insult after insult and when he finally stood up and looked at me I squeaked and kept quiet. He walked over and grabbed my throat, calling me pathetic and worthless..he told me I was his property..

He raped me that night..I never experienced pain like that in my life..It went on for so much time I had forgotten what the outside world looked like. I had forgotten what fresh air smelled like, what a warm breeze felt like. All I knew was the burning iron cuffs and the jagged stone floor.

After a long time I thought this would be the rest of my endless life..until the door to the basement opened, and I didn't see Claude there.

A woman, a complete stranger, helped me escape from him. Her name was Bella.When I stepped outside and saw the world I started crying. Fresh air and sunlight seemed dead to me. I swore on my life I'd never let myself miss out on what the world had to offer.I don't quite remember when or how this happened but I ended up going with Bella to one of her friends parties. She was dressed all in red and instructed me to dress the same way. I was puzzled but I did it nonetheless. When we got to the party I was awestruck. Everything was decorated in red and gold and there were so many people there..the overwhelmed feeling was back.

Details are still fuzzy, old age will do that to you, but I still remember everyone I met there. I still share an amazing bond with them, a bond I haven't felt in so long. Pandora Baines, Bella Onsuoir, Grell Sutcliff, Airo Yannis, Arisu Ammendolia, Sebastian Michaelis...

They became my family...

And for a while that's how I wanted it to stay. Pandora and Bella being like sisters to me,and Arisu being like a sister who wanted me for a pet, Airo sort of being like an older brother, even if in actuality I'm older than him, Sebastian being a fatherly figure, even with yet another age difference, and Grell being like a mother...a murderous..slightly psychopathic mother. But motherly nonetheless.

Me..I was just sort of..there..They cared about me sure, Pandora even came over for magic lessons from time to time...Arisu basically coming over trying to claim me. But I still felt a bit lonely. I watched my family form tight bonds with each other. Bella and Airo being married...and although their marriages ended in sadness I saw Grell and Pandora at least find love for a bit..whenever any of them asked if I felt alone I simply shrugged. Or I said I was in love with reading, and that literature was my love.

Until another fateful day rolled around.

My friends decided to surprise me with a visit to the greatest library in the world. The reapers library..where I could read about any fallen author's life. It was all at my fingertips page after page of history. I isolated myself to a corner surrounded by various books as I started to read. A few hours later I realized I was left alone. My friends had gone home. I looked around for a bit realizing my isolation was a lie. I saw a man by a distant shelf. I stayed put as he walked towards me. I was worried, since Grell wasn't there to explain my visit I probably got into some form of trouble. I prepared myself to either apologize furiously...or run.

Turns out I didn't even really need to do either.