Uncertainty

California sat at the kitchen table, beanie and glasses haphazardly flung to the side. His head was held in his hands, fingers grasping onto his messy hair and holding tight as if the sensation could ground him. If he held any tighter he would probably risk actually pulling his hair out, but he didn't seem to care. All of his attention was on a little box in front of him. It was closed but he knew what was in it.

A single, personally commissioned engagement ring. It wasn't like normal rings of its sort. It wasn't covered in diamonds or gems. It was a wooden band with a single strip of gold down the center and along the edges. It symbolized California's love for his boyfriend. It symbolized how he would always protect him and be with him, no matter what. It was a special ring for a special occasion.

But right now there was no way he could bring himself even to look at it. He was the picture of uncertainty, and invasive thoughts had burrowed their way into his head. Luckily, DC had taken a bunch of States out for errands so Cal didn't need to worry about being interrupted as he sat and let his thoughts race through his mind. Thoughts like wondering what the hell he was thinking? He was so fucking stupid. DC loved him, sure, but this was too much. It was a big deal, like... a very big deal. The nature of who and what they were meant they lived a long time, so marriage was a much bigger commitment than for a normal human. It would either last centuries or would end in pain. Asking for love to span centuries when they'd only been dating for a year? That was a big risk... there was no way he could ask that from DC. The Fed deserved better.

"So, are you gonna do it?"

"Fuck!" California jumped in his seat, looking up to see Florida suddenly sitting next to him with that annoying, amused grin on his face. Cali rubbed his now aching chest, trying to calm his heart before being able to mellow out his breathing with a sigh. He rubbed his hands over his face, scrubbing his eyes so hard it gave him blurred vision for a moment (Well, more blurred than it already was without glasses on). He wasn't prepared for this talk but Florida was obviously not going to leave him alone, that was evident in the Chaos State's eyes, so California didn't even try avoiding it, "I don't know Flo... I just don't know." His voice was tired, almost defeated as it trailed off at the end of the sentence, eyes lowering back down to the little box with the ring on the table.

... well now that wasn't the answer Florida was expecting. He had thought California was just anxious about what was to come, not that he was second guessing himself. He immediately frowned and got serious, which probably didn't seem too serious on the surface but he wasn't as dumb as he acted. He had been a force pushing these two dumb love birds together since day one and he was going to see this through to the end. They deserved that much. He knew how happy they would be in the end and that is what Florida wanted, despite his reputation of always wanting disaster, "What do you mean? You've been talking about proposing for months now." Which was pretty damn early for most people to consider marriage, which is why only Florida (and of course by extension Loui) knew. They knew that the outer influence of the other States saying to wait would not be good on these two so they were the only ones the love birds could confide in.

California looked up, almost with pain in his eyes. Hell, he looked close to tears at this point as his mind spiraled further down into its negative thoughts, "I know but now that it's time I just... I just can't. He's a Fed, Flo. He deserves way more than a simple State like me. He could date literally anyone in the world, other Countries even. I don't deserve him and I can't ask him to give up, well, potentially centuries for me when he could spend that time finding and getting someone he deserves."

He shook his head and closed his eyes, softly muttering the mantra that he 'wasn't good enough' and that 'DC deserves better' to himself. He was clearly in the process of making up his mind to call off the proposal, and possibly not just putting it off temporarily but permanently. When California decided on something it was hard to change his mind and right now he was on a downward spiral. Florida had to work fast. So he did the only thing he could think of.

Slap!

The sound echoed in the quiet kitchen as silence fell. California's head was swimming at the sudden jolt of pain. It wasn't a hard slap but it fucking stung. It was so sudden it completely stopped his thoughts in their tracks, dropping him right back in the here and now more completely then he may have ever been in his life. When he could actually focus again he saw Florida with a hard (but gentle) look in his eyes, "Florida! Why did you-"

"Shut up, California! You know he loves you. Who cares that you're a State? We all are! Just because he is higher than us at work doesn't mean he's better than you as a person. He would be horrified to know you think that! He loves you and you love him. Don't you owe it to him to let him decide?"

California sat stunned for a second before he managed to catch up to what Florida was saying. Florida rarely spoke like this, the chuckling and mischief nowhere to be found and instead replaced with a strangely sober and caring glare. Florida may have thrived with chaos and annoyance but when he was serious, he was often right. He had been the one to first see how California looked at DC so long ago, and had been the driving force to getting him to admit how he felt. He was the one to help Cali and DC together at all. He was always there supporting the both of them when they were too afraid to do something.

"No, no it's not that... it's not that easy, Flo!" California felt his reservations cracking but they weren't broken down yet. He still felt them in his very core, "What if he decides wrong? What if we end in divorce? We still have to work together. It would destroy him... it would destroy me..." His eyes were desperate but at this point, it wasn't clear if he was desperate about his fears or desperately begging Florida to knock them out of his head. He just needed the smallest push over the edge, but only Florida could give him that push.

"Who cares, California? Who care's about the what ifs? Are you really going to stop yourself from potentially making the best choice of your life because of some what ifs?" California knew that Florida had a point but he still couldn't let it drop, "You just say that because you never plan ahead, Florida. You live for chaos."

That earned a simple eyebrow raise and slight shrug from the Sunshine State, "Yea, and? Why be so worried about the future? It hasn't happened yet. Maybe you need a little chaos in your life, it doesn't always have to be bad. Isn't the good outcome worth taking the risk of the bad one? You've made it this far, why give up now?"

... Damn he hated when Florida was right. California sighed, rubbing his hands on his face again. The stupid Incarnation of Chaos was right again... he had no right to take the choice away from DC like that. If DC didn't want take the risk then he could say no. Cali wouldn't stop loving him, and wouldn't even expect to break up if that was the outcome. And... on top of that, Florida really had a point about not letting his worries about the future hold back right now. Yea, Flo was an extreme example of that mindset... but he had a point...

"... You're right. I love him... I guess I will propose. On our date night, tomorrow. It's the first year anniversary of us getting together." California didn't see the mischievous look that flashed through Florida's eyes at the mention of that. He was too busy grabbing his glasses and slipping his hat back on, "Okay... I need to go plan exactly what I'm going to say, thanks, Flo."

"No problem, Human Torch." Florida gave his signature laugh as California rolled his eyes and stood up, opening the little box for a moment. He let his gaze land on the ring, which shone in the light filtering through the kitchen window like a beacon of hope before he closed it again and slipped it back into his pocket. He had a lot of thinking to do, but this time it was how to make tomorrows date night one to remember. Without another word he rushed to his room to plan.

...

"So, who you think is gonna pop the question first, sha?" Loui came around the corner, having been there the whole time and having listened to the whole conversation. Florida chuckled again and leaned back, "My money's on Cal. He's got it in his head now, he's going to be nervous the whole date then pop the question before they get dessert." Loui thought for a moment before holding out his hand, "Five bucks says Dee does before they're halfway through the date." Florida laughed and took Louisiana's hand in a hearty shake, "You're on."