Bill Cipher × Reader One-Shots BC I'm Borred

The Awkward Date

The waitress walked up to you. 

"Just a few more minutes," you said, apologetically.

She walked away rolling her eyes.

What was taking him so long?

You'd been sitting at the restaurant forever now waiting on your date to show up.

Did he blow you off? No, he had to show up any minute now.

Just then, the front door of the building swung open.

You could hear the rain from outside hitting the sidewalk, accompanied by the sound of squeaking shoes on the floor.

You straightened your (dress/suit jacket) and checked your reflection in a spoon.

A strange man dressed in a black suit with yellow diamond eyes sat down in the seat across from you, drenched in rain water. 

"Bill," you asked.

"Yes," he said, "Sorry I'm late, it was hard findin' the place." Then he laughed.

"It's okay," you said.

The waitress came back. "Would you look at that," she said, "he actually exists. What can I get you two."

You ordered your food while he looked at the menu nervously.

"What's wrong," you asked him.

"Nothing," he said. He didn't seem fine. "I'll just... have what they're having."

The snarky waitress left with the menus, and your date's eyes perked up again.

Bill started playing with a fork. "So, your name is (y/n), huh?"

You nodded. You weren't sure what to say, but you liked the way his eyes seemed to glow.

"You're a friend of (friend), right," he asked.

"Oh, yeah," you responded, "They told me about you."

"Yeah," he said, "They thought we'd be a good match."

The two of you were glancing around a little, not sure how to break the silence.

You made an attempt to break the ice, "So um... you... you look really nice tonight."

"Oh," he said, "Thank you. It's... it's not really me I guess, but you look pretty good yourself."

"Thanks- er... thank you," you stuttered.

The awkwardness was getting worse.

He started tapping on the table. "Hey, uh... Have you... ever dated outside of your genus before?"

"Hm," you asked.

Bill glanced off, "Nothing, just asking."

"Do you mean have I ever dated a non-human being like you before?" You smiled.

"Yes," he said, smiling cutely on the 's'.

"No," you giggled, "This is my first time."

The silence came back and you twiddled your thumbs.

"You picked a nice place for diner," he said.

"Thank you," you responded, "It... isn't really what I was expecting."

"How do you mean," he asked.

"Well, look around," you said, "Everyone's so polite and romantic."

"Yeah," answered Bill.

You started, "I mean... it's so..."

"It is," he said.

"So much pressure," you both said in unison.

"Oh thank The Axolotl," he said, "You feel it too."

You both sat more comfortably.

You laughed, "I should never have picked such a fancy place, I was just... trying to impress you I guess."

"Impress me," he asked. "Why would this impress me? This is going awful!"

"I don't know," you said, "Everyone says when you go out with a guy, you should take him somewhere big and fancy. Make sure it goes perfect, make yourself pretty, and-"

He laughed. "That's so stupid!"

"I really didn't expect it to go like this," you said.

"Look, (y/n)," Bill said, "I'm not human and I never was, so why are you expecting me to act like one?"

You were a bit more at ease, giggling even at his bright, kitten-eyed smile.

"What do you say we go do something fun," he said, "Screw this place, let's go on a real date."

You nodded.

He stood up and started walking the wrong way.

"Where are you going," you said, "The door's that way."

"Don't expect me to act human," he said, grabbing your hand. He started to run, dragging you along. "And don't expect me to follow human rules!"

Bill stepped up onto a couple's table, the whole restaurant now looking at the two of you.

"Excuse me, sir," nagged the waitress, "You can't do that in here! I'm gonna have to ask you to leave!"

"Won't be a problem," he shouted.

He pulled down a decorative curtain from the wall and lassoed it around the chandelier!

You were in cheerful shock as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

Security started running towards the two of you, and he leaped with you clinging to his side, straight through the clear, glass window!

You landed on the wet ground, wrapped in his arms to protect you from the fall.

"Come on," he said, standing up. Bill grabbed you by the hand and started to run into the rain.

Security started to chase you to the end of the street.

"Why did you do that," you laughed.

He shouted back with a big smile on his face, "Because it was fun!"

The two of you ran off into the night, raindrops splashing onto you as you held his hand the entire way.

(Friend) didn't know how right they were, he was perfect for you.