💭Memories💭

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I remember the first time you kissed me. We were on our fourth date, and you decided that we'd take a detour to the coffee shop by walking through the park. We weren't officially dating yet, but I felt a connection with you that I never felt before. (Will I ever feel that connection with someone else?)

We were holding hands while talking about nothing in particular, and then you stopped walking. I saw you smile at me as you wrapped your arms around my neck. I then pulled you close, so close that I felt like I couldn't breathe. (I still can't breathe, but you're not here to save me.)

You then gave my lips a quick peck, and I still can't get the sweet pleasure of your lips on mine out of my head. I stood there in shock as you broke off from me, and then continued on walking. After realizing that I wasn't with you, you teased me for ages about how I froze up after our first kiss. (Why didn't I savor those moments more?)

It didn't take your company or your members long to figure us out. I suppose those hidden moments weren't so hidden when security cameras were a thing. Your CEO confronted us one night after we returned from a date, and we were honest about the growing relationship between us. We still had yet to label anything, but it felt like we were destined to be together. (I wonder how your CEO had to deal with the break up news, it must've been a lot of pressure on him.)

He approved of the relationship, as long as he could publicly announce it. I was okay with it, but you didn't want to drag me into the idol world. The three of us then agreed on a deal that the relationship would be public, but my identity would be hidden so no one would know who I was. (Was it because you were ashamed to be seen with me?)

Before coming out to the public, we had to tell your members. I didn't know how to tell them, so you did most of the talking as the members stared straight into my soul. After you stopped talking, an awkward silence surrounded the room before many congratulations were shouted by your members. Each of the members took the time to get to know me, and I call them some of my closest friends, just as you do. (You don't know this, but all of them reached out to comfort me after we broke up. They apparently knew what you were going to do, but they didn't realize you would do it so soon or so harshly.)

The public, but most importantly your fans, really accepted the relationship. They wondered who the anonymous person was, but most chose to not pry into our relationship anymore. (Fans were devastated when we broke up, and some decided to blame me. You didn't stop them, which makes me wonder if you were ever going to tell them the truth about us.)

When I met your parents, I was absolutely terrified. I spent months practicing Chinese just so I could impress them. You were so supportive and positive about everything. You calmed my worries with soft kisses and kind words. We'd spend hours cuddling while talking in different languages just so I could practice. Your parents loved me from the moment that I met them. They told me over dinner that they could see me being the one that you married. (Do they know how you broke my heart that night?) You were so happy that night that you didn't stop talking until two in the morning.

Our last date was to an ice cream shop. We each ordered our favorites, and we sat by our usual window seats. You were unusually quiet, but you still wore the same smile that I loved. (Was it a mask? How long were you pretending to be happy for me?) I tried to give you affection, but you pulled away time after time. I figured it was because you were tired from comeback promotions.

After many failed attempts, my disappointment became visible, and you still didn't notice. I suggested that we take a car ride so you can get your mind off of what was bothering you. As I climbed into the driver's seat, I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong. (Was it me after all of this time? Was I the reason that you weren't in love anymore? Was I not doing enough? Was I not enough?)

I let the radio play since the silence while driving was unbearable. Then, our song came on the radio, and you know exactly what happens next.

...And memories bring back memories, bring back you.

Handong x Reader - Break Up SongWhere stories live. Discover now