When (If)

Prologue

I remember crying over him. I don't mean a couple of tears. I'm talking about collasping and screaming at everything. There are nights where I cry so hard that my body aches. There are nights where I'm happy that everything happens for a reason. There are also nights where I feel nothing at all. The thing is, there is never a night that he doesn't cross my mind.

I'm replaying the last five words he said to me, over and over in my head. I can't help but think that he doesn't exist anymore. It's been over a month and I haven't heard from him. Maybe I'm going crazy, but I think that after all that we've been through, he would have tried to talk to me.

I see him everywhere, even though he isn't there. In my dreams. In the shops. Walking across a street. I get so excited but reality steps in and I realise that he isn't there. He isn't anywhere.

I love him, truly love him, but maybe it's time to move on.