where the rain can't touch the ground

chapter 1

The colour white had lots of meanings to me. Sometimes I would say it represented calmness, thanks to the white, soft jumper Scarlett had gifted me for Easter. It also represented emptiness due to an old movie I had seen on an autumn day, where the main character was stuck in a white room and couldn't distinguish a single element. White also reminded me of Lily, the graceful cat waiting outside my door to get kibble, which I purchased for her only. And most brides wear white dresses. I've always wondered if it was supposed to give me good or bad vibes.

White meant candid today. Just as the snow unhurriedly landing on the streets, contrasting the grey skyscrapers I hated with a passion. White incited me to be chill today.

I put on my warmest coat and breathed in the dirty air, pretending it was somehow fresh. A magenta beanie covered my greasy hair and horrible ears, my gloves were absolutely useless since my trembling hands felt colder than ever. Trying to admire such a dull city was pretty hard for my sight, used to popping colours and different environments. Some kids were wrapped around their fleece jackets, hitting each other with yellowy snow picked up from the sides of the pavement, others were rolling themselves on the ground and moving their limbs in an attempt to make snow angels.

The Tinker Bell rang as I entered the little shop and looked around, stirring my boots and clothes from the unpigmented flakes.

"Lindsey?" Jillian's sugary voice made my head turn in her direction.

Sipping from a metallic thermos, she was holding a pen with the other hand, marking the paper sheet with black ink, yet her brown eyes were staring at my bulky figure get close to the cash.

"It's been a while. Are you booked and busy?" she questioned ironically.

"Not really – I scratched my forefront and took the wool beanie off – actually, I'm all alone now. Scarlett's currently in Bristol due to her job, and the kids are spending time with Alex and his mother. Any news?" I quickly changed the topic.

"Not at all. Still dealing with the same stuff – she dropped her pen and notebook on the table - fancy a cup of coffee?"

"I'm good, thanks. Just came here to buy the newspaper. Also, is there anything for me?" I pointed my finger at the rusty mailbox outside the shop.

"Let me check." She said whilst exiting the cash desk.

"Seems like this is your lucky day!" she came back handing me some letters and my eyes shined at that sight.

I impatiently flipped through each one of them, but there wasn't what I expected, or dare I say hoped. I noisily exhaled and shoved them in my pocket.

"Just some debts I have to pay" I told Jillian after being haunted by her insistent glance.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Lindsey-" she offered with a slight note of compassion and I shook my head without letting her finish.

"No need to worry, I'm totally fine."

"Were you hoping someone sent you a letter?" her nosey side took the conch and I felt a little bit exposed.

"Sort of." I responded shyly and lowered my gaze. "Have you got any flour? I'm afraid I ran out of it" I changed the subject for the second time and she looked at me quite weirded out.

"Sure, hang on."

"anddd it's 4,28 £, thank you" Jillian said as I laid the money on the desk and promptly caught the bag of flour.

"well, I'll see you soon!" I greeted her with a tiny smile before heading to the exit.

"have a good one Lin" she took another sip from her thermos and fixed the glasses on her little pinched nose.

I walked all the way back home with a warm beam, my mind slowly travelling through the memories. I decided I'd bake his favorite biscuits ever. I was taught the recipe by his mother during the Christmas break, and I still remembered it by heart. The wind blew leadenly and I shook while holding the thready bag, almost scared I would drop it to the ground. I could see my humble residence from a few steps away, hence I accelerated my pace and reached it with the snap of a finger. Well, I wasn't young nor lean, but my excitation over those biscuits was exhilarating.

I pulled the keys out of my pocket, until I heard a shaky breath coming from somewhere near. There was no noise, ever, especially in that side of the town, especially in that neighborhood, so even the slightest fuss would make me wonder "is there anyone here?"

I shut my ridiculous thoughts and climbed onto the ladders to eventually get to the door, but my moves got interrupted by another suspect sound. It sounded like someone was wallowing on the ground, and that could never be Lily, it was way too noisy for such a slender creature. Subsequent breaths and whines escaped from a mysterious angle, and I couldn't help but decide to wander around my flat and find the so boisterous soul.

The left side was nothing but empty, snowy and silent.

I tried to follow what my ears heard but it wasn't as easy as I figured. I quickly got on the right side and it was just as hollow as the left one. Thus the ultimate try was aimed to the back of the flat.

My feet slowly stopped at that sight. A homeless body was rolling on the filthy deck, tremulous gasps and complaints made my knees weak. A plaid hat was resting on their head, I could only see their back, wrapped into a ripped coat. He – I supposed it was a man – was laying there all alone, whimpering, abandoned to his own disgrace and I didn't know what to do, or even think of doing.

"are.....are you okay?" I asked frightened and cursed my daft words while lightly hitting my forehead. Of course he wasn't okay.

"can you hear me?" I questioned again, managing to see if he could factually perceive my voice.

His neck gradually turned in my direction. Cuts on his young face, eyes closed and mouth half opened, he whispered something I didn't catch and showed me his hands. There was dried blood on his knuckles and his fingertips were bruised. I got him up and walked him to the ladders. I could feel his bones while holding him. After several tries I finally managed to make him climb the stairs and opened the door. I placed his tired and mangled body on the sofa, looked at him with concern and took his crashed shoes off.

A few seconds later I remember I had forgot the bag of flour right where I found him. 

! i was so impatient to post the first chapter, so here we go. Hope you're enjoying it so far. If any of you has questions on the story, don't fear to comment right under this chapter and i'll clear all your doubts ! 

thanks for reading xx

-rae