A Number, Not a Name

Are the Stars Out Tonight?

15 years earlier:

Liana stared up at the ceiling of her room, gazing up at the stars projected by the galaxy projector. Her mother had loved astronomy or at least that was what she'd heard. She supposed she'd inherited her love for space and celestial objects from her. The stars always seemed to help whenever she was feeling sad and alone. Try her hardest to forget her father's words from earlier, they had cut through her heart like a knife. Tears filled her eyes and a sob escaped her lips.

She bit her lip back, trying not to cry. "Venus..." she whispered to herself, "so bright and beautiful." Her eyes flitted over the ceiling. "And Jupiter, so large and colorful. I wish I was up there...in the sky," her voice cracked, "away from all this."

Haunting images and scenes shook her. Her father lashing his hand across her face. His hand in a vice-like grip around her arm. Abusive words and insults spewing from his mouth. And her shrinking back from him in terror.

A pang shot through her heart. Why couldn't her father love her...if only for a moment. From the time she was born he had hated her. Make-believe - it was what had sustained her through the years. In her mind, she saw her fictional family, whose fictional details she'd memorized. Mom, obviously, was an astronomer. One of the best in the world. At least that's how she saw her in her eyes. Every Sunday she'd make her signature chocolate cake. She and her sister would dash to the kitchen to offer her their help when what they really wanted was to get a small taste of the batter. By the time the cake was ready they, their mom, and the whole kitchen would be covered in flour. The result of one of their "famous" flour fights. Mom at first had disapproved of the whole thing and tried to put a stop to it. However, after being covered head to toe with flour on one occasion, she'd joined in on the fun.

Dad was a botanist, and he preferred plants to people, except when it came to his family. Gumdrops and lollipops, he'd bring them home every Friday after work. Smiles would fill the living room as she and her sister would eagerly await their Dad's arrival. He'd playfully pretend to be hurt that they only waited for the candy, not to greet him. They'd tell that wasn't true and give him a huge hug. And he'd hug them back...both of them.

Her sister...was the only part of her "family" grounded in reality. Her sister was Lena and Lena was her. Her voice. Her laugh. Her smile. Their epic "battles" in Scrabble. Nearly every time Milena would win to Liana's frustration. Their happy place was Terzian lake. They'd swim and splash each other senseless. Laughs and giggles would fill the air. All their problems and troubles would melt away in the warm afternoon sun and it'd just be them...together and happy.

Liana turned over on the bed, burying her head in the comforter. Most times it was easier to just try and shut everything out, ignore the real world she was in and the ache in her heart. Tic-tock, tic-tock, the clock that graced her nightstand marked the minutes she laid there motionless on the bed.

A soft hand gently touched her back. Rolling over Liana saw her sister glancing down at her, a worried look in her eyes. Safety, that's what she felt whenever her sister was around. Despite his overwhelming hatred toward her, Norvan at least controlled his anger in his oldest daughter's presence.

Milena sat beside her on the bed. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay...just thinking."

Milena tucked a curl behind her little sister's ear. "Thinking about what?"

Liana looked down at her hands, her mind suddenly blank. What should she say? Tell her the truth. Shatter her view of their father. Reveal that beneath his masquerade as a supporting loving father he was a cruel monster, who she despised. Would she even believe her? For Milena, their dad was everything a girl would want in a father. He supported her and showered her with gifts and affection. He gave her the world. Worse what if Milena turned on her for saying such things. Lena was all that she had. Joy was a rarity in her life and, for her, Lena was its only source. No, she couldn't risk losing the only light in her life.