Who the Hell Knew

Silence

I text Kyle after I get out of work. All I say is, “We need to talk.” I turn my phone off quickly after, out of fear that he’ll try calling me.

What is wrong with me? Why am I scared of speaking to him? Is it because I don't know how he’ll react? But I think he’ll understand. I still don't know how I'm going to approach the situation. I’ll figure it out when I get home.

I took the scenic route home today. I don't know why I just felt like I need it. I see the trees pass by and there isn't a cloud in site. Which is normally rare because Seattle is known for it's rain. I decide not to go home just yet and stop by a spot that I happen to find when I first moved here.

It was the day after I arrived. I had found an ad for an apartment and decided to check it out. I didn't have a car at the time so I rode a bike. As I was looking for the address, I guess I accidently made a wrong turn and I happen to come across this hill. It was technically a field with a hill, but anyway the hill sat high away from all the loudness of the city. You could see the space needle and the shoreline as well. The sun was going down so, the skyline looked beautiful.

I got out of my car and sat on the ground. The grass tickled my legs and the breeze felt cool against my skin. I took a moment to look at the familiar scenery and took a deep breath. I exhaled with a sigh and brought my knees into my chest.

What am I gonna do about Kyle? He has to understand, right? What if he freaks out? What if he starts asking questions? I don't have answers. I never have answers. What if he thinks Hunter is the reason? Hunter didn't do anything. Damit Dani, stop overthinking this.

You are gonna go home and plan out what you’re gonna say. Then you are gonna talk to Kyle and he’s gonna understand.

I breath and take in the scenery once more. Then, I get into my car and drive home.

*-*-*-*-*

I’m walking from the elevator to my apartment. I live in an apartment complex on the 13th floor and I refuse to walk up all those stairs so I take the elevator.

I notice that my door isn't locked. I quickly look at the lock. There isn't any sign of anybody breaking in. I quickly dismiss the scare and figure that I probably forgot to lock it in the morning. After all, I did leave in the wrong mindset.

I go into the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove to heat up for some tea. Then I go into my room and change into something comfortable. I walk back into the kitchen when the kettle cries. I turn around to face the living room and see Kyle there. I jump. He’s reading a book that was on the coffee table.

“What the hell Kyle?!?! What the fuck are you doing in my house?!?!?”

“You said we needed to talk.” He says calmly says without breaking his gaze from the book.

“Yeah, but not like this!” My voice is still filled with astonishment.

He stands up and walks over to the breakfast bar. He then picks up his head and looks at me. “So when did you want to talk? Were you going to ignore all my messages again and lie that you got them? Or were you just gonna ignore me completely?” There’s anger in his tone.

“My phone was off this time. I need to clear my head.” My voice is now calm in an attempt to ease his tone.

“Well I’m here now, so let’s talk.” He takes a seat on one of the high chairs.

No, I'm not ready. I didn't plan on this happening today. I wanted to actually think about what I was going to say. Why does this have to happen now. How the hell did he get in here?

I turn around and while I’m finishing up my tea I ask him, “How did you get in here?” I pour him a mug.

“The key you keep on top of the door frame.” I had forgotten that he knew about that. Hell, I even forgot that damn thing was up there.

I walk over to the bar and sit across from him. He takes the tea from me and holds my hand. He’s giving me a look with his dark brown eyes. I quickly look down at my mug and pull my hand back. I trace the engraved pattern on the mug with my finger.

This is happening. There’s no turning back now. Here goes nothing.

I take a deep breath before I begin.

“Kyle, I know I haven't been the best girlfriend and I know you care about me and all, but lately I've felt distant.” He’s looking at me. Not a single thing is distracting him.

“When we first started going out it was fun and all but now….” I trail off for a second and look down at my mug.

“Now its getting harder to talk to you and you seem rather angry at everything I do. I just..” I trail off again but this time look at him when I when I continue.

“I just cant do it anymore.”

I begin to tear up and all he does is keep looking at me.

“Say something. Please.” I cry.

He looks down at his mug and his grip tightens. His knuckles turn white. Then out of nowhere he picks up the mug and throws it. It crashes into my kitchen cabinet and shatters.

“WHAT THE HE-”

“YOU CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE SAT IN MY ROOM, WONDERING WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG? AND NOW YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO BREAK UP WITH ME!” He stands up from the chair and walks over to me. I take a step back afraid that he’ll get any closer, but I’m trapped. He pushes me down to the floor and slaps me.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT!”

I feel a burning sensation on my left cheek. Memories of my mom doing the same come flooding back. My head is on the floor. Everything is a blur. I feel him picking me up and I regain my senses. He’s holding me with a tight grip and dragging me to my room.

“LET ME GO!”

I kick and scream trying to break free from his hands, but its no use. Kyle is twice my size.

He throws me on my bed and slaps me once again.

I lay on my bed crying. Kyle is pacing back and forth with his hands on his head. He’s crying. Then he turns and looks at me.

“IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THEN I'M TAKING WHAT I WANT!” He comes up on the bed and grabs my sweats and pulls them off. “STOP IT! KYLE PLEASE! I'M SORRY!” He doesn't stop.

He forcefully pulls of my shirt and grabs my hands and ties them on my headboard with the christmas light wires to the to restrain me from fighting back.  The metal is cold against my skin. I keep kicking. He undoes his belt and grabs my legs. I keep screaming. He puts the belt around my mouth to restrict me from making any noise.

All I can do is continue to cry. He is looks straight into my eyes and says, “I’m gonna show you what you’re missing out on.”

He begins to kiss my neck and then makes an unwanted entry. My screams are muffled by the belt. I feel helpless.

Why did he do this? I could've prevented this. Why did I have to make him mad.

I lay on my bed naked. My white cotton sheets are wrinkled and drenched with blood, sweat, and tears. His hair is sweaty and he’s out of breath. I feel violated. I never expected my first time to be like this.

He unties my hands and removes his belt from my head. I shift my position feeling pain everywhere. He then places his hand on my back.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” I scream.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU ASKED FOR IT!”

“GET OUT!”  I yell and without another word he leaves.

I lay there in silence.

___________________________________________________________________________________Big things happened in this chapter. I'll try to reveal more in the next about her past.

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And enjoy reading!

Love, Kelly:)