i don't wanna be okay without you

000 | Premonition + Playlist

—November 2018

“Don't look at her. Don't even glance at her direction. Do you understand, Jungkook-ssi?” Sejin, BTS' manager, asks in all seriousness.

Nothing must go wrong.

A lot of fans ships BTS to different girl groups. We have some groups such as TWICE, GFRIEND, Red Velvet . . . and now, BLACKPINK.

Jungkook glanced at Sejin, doing a quick nod which his stylist immediately scolded him for. His stylist was doing some final touchups before they finally enter the award show.

Sejin sighs, glancing towards the rest of the BTS members. "This goes for all of you. I'm just specifically telling Jungkook-ssi since the fans are mistaking his friendship with Lisa-ssi as something romantic."

Hoseok glanced meaningfully towards Jungkook, lightly patting the younger's shoulder. "Sure, they misunderstood it, alright."

Jungkook rolled his eyes, extending his arm to reach for Hoseok's arm to pinch it. However, Hoseok successfully dodged this. Namjoon, who was casually sitting on a chair near them, keenly observed the two. As the leader of BTS, he had to look out for his members.

"Hyung, stop it," Jungkook grumbles.

He doesn't want to disappoint the fans. Also, he doesn't want another lecture from Sejin. He's already been insanely shipped to other female idols ever since 2015. However, none of them expected that being shipped with BLACKPINK's Lisa would cause such an uproar within the K-Pop community.

Jungkook didn't mind of course — he thought that it would just like the other ships with him. They'd just find them cute together, make some edits, fanfics maybe, and that's it.

Oddly enough, his company and YG didn't seem to think so. Of course, BTS and BLACKPINK were confused because of this. It's just a ship — fans have been doing that ever since. Why create a fuss now? Telling them to keep their distance and stuff . . . it didn't make sense both of the groups.

Just when everyone thought that it doesn't make sense, Jungkook seemed to know exactly why. He didn't want to admit it at first, knowing how fucked up things would be, but he ended up doing so.

He and Lisa are compatible. They have chemistry. They are shippable in so many ways. Why bother denying it after all the the evidences that they do?

And the thought of him and Lisa together . . . actually dating . . . surfaced in his mind for months.

Just as his mind was clouded by these odd thoughts, picturing him and Lisa as an actual couple even if it was for publicity of whatever circumstance, BLACKPINK along with their manager passed by them.

They bowed at each other in respect.

There, Jungkook dawned his eyes at Lisa who was preoccupied with her phone. She seemed to be in distress as she was texting someone. They aren't strangers. Jungkook thought that he should at least ask her if she was alright.

However, before he could open his mouth to do so, Lisa glanced at him, causing Jungkook to look away. Lisa dawned her eyes over her manager, then back to Jungkook. "Pssst, Jungkook sunbaenim," she called him.

Jungkook gulped upon hearing what she called him. He felt a bit shy, pupils dilating a bit as he fixated his gaze onto her. "Hm?"

"Did your manager tell you that we should avoid each other in this award show too?" she asks, whispering.

Luckily, Jisoo, Jennie, and Chaeyoung covered for her, making sure that her manager doesn't see her talking to Jungkook. Of course, she's their maknae after all. They instinctively look after her.

Jungkook nods his head, glancing at his hyungs. He saw them signal him to carry on as they alertedly look out for their manager. Jungkook sighed in relief because of this, thankful for their cooperation.

"Man, are we some star-crossed lovers or something?" Lalisa continued whispering, giggling right after. "Forbidden? Some kind of Romeo and Juliet?" She then purses her lips. "Why do you think they're going overboard like this, though?"

Jungkook chuckled, shrugging. "Not sure," Jungkook curtly responds, momentarily turning his head briskly towards where their manager was. "But I'm sure we're gonna get scolded if they catch us talking."

Lisa laughs, agreeing with him. Jennie then nudged Lisa, and faintly smiled towards Jungkook. "We should be heading to our spot. Excuse us, Jungkook sunbaenim."

Jungkook bows towards the girls, eyes fixating on Lalisa as she was already laughing her ass off. "Bye, sunbae!" she teases Jungkook, knowing how he feels awkward whenever she calls him that since they're friends.

Jungkook lowly chuckles, shaking his head as he watched them walk away.

Just then, Jin snakes an arm around Jungkook's shoulders, pulling the younger closer to him. "Breathtaking, huh?"

"Yeah," Jungkook mumbles, knowing where it was going. He assumed that Jin was going to ask him why he didn't tell Lisa if he thought she looked pretty today. "I think Lisa already knows that," Jungkook answers.

Jin paused, brows furrowing. This made Jungkook confused. Suddenly, Jin began to laugh, shaking his head. "You do realise that I was talking about our fans raising their ARMY bombs over there, right?"

Jungkook's doe eyes widened, glancing at where Jin was initially looking at earlier. And yes, Jin wasn't teasing him about Lisa. He really was referring to their fans.

"I'm not gonna tease you," Jin reassured. "Not right here. Sejin hyung might overhear us. I don't want you getting in trouble."

"It's just the articles and rumours between us," Jungkook tried to explain.

Jin nodded, immediately understanding him. "Yeah, it's been running in your mind for quite some time now. I know."

"Exactly," Jungkook mumbles.

"But isn't it odd?" Jin starts off, smiling even wider. "When you were shipped with other female idols, you'd just think about it for a week or so. But this whole ship with Lisa . . . it's been in your mind for months now, Jungkook. Months. Don't you find it odd?"

Jungkook didn't dare to speak up. Of course he found it odd. But what can he do? It's not like he can stop thinking about it. Jungkook cannot determine whether he actually likes Lisa or was he just intrigued because of the ship.

He didn't want to do anything unless he was certain.

However, one thing was for sure.

No matter how he tried to hide it, or how he tried to avoid her . . . amidst everyone between them, he still saw her.

—Playlist

I Don't Wanna Be Okay Without You
Charlie Burg

drunk
keshi

Hey Stupid, I Love You
JP Saxe

Fallingforyou
The 1975

this is how you fall in love
Jeremy Zucker, Chelsea Cutler

How Can I
H 3 F