With the oceans between them, their friendship is, at the very least, a long-distance one. Wayans and Tan said they have five rules that they do not intend to break. Read on through below to see the rules that made this one-of-a-kind friendship work.
Rule #1: Make an the effort.
"You see, Cait is probably the longest relationship I had only because we both make the absolute effort," Wayans said.
("See, that is why the people think we're together. The things you say," Tan butted in, shaking her head, but a smile on her face.)
"At first it was hard," Tan admitted. "We've got this seven-hour time difference, which changes depending where he is on tour. Plus, when he left, we barely knew each other."
Wayans described their first few online encounters as "failed jumpstarts" with a lot of "awkward moments." After a while, they got the groove. While their first few online check-ins were scheduled, Wayans decided to call out of the blue. "She started to talk more. It was like the pressure to prepare for any conversation was lifted."
To Tan, it also wasn't just about keeping the lines open. "I think we burned so many miles to see each other," she said. "You know those kinds of interactions where you're cool when it's online, but when you see each other it's awkward? We didn't want this to be like that."
"You do what it takes. If I had a few days off and I was in a country near her, we try to meet up. It's either I fly to where she is or I fly her to be with me," Wayans added. And when I pointed out that it's something that people in relationships do, Tan shrugged it off. "He's one of the best friendships I've ever had. I think it was worth that much effort. If you want to make it work, make the effort."
Rule #2: Know when to stop and when to pull.
Wayans told us that Tan has this habit that he didn't like: when they fight, she runs. "Regardless of whose fault it was, she wouldn't answer calls, texts, emails or whatever. She'd shut me out." As Tan blushed, Wayans continued, "But then I worked around that. She's the person who needs space to process things, but she's also this person who tends to overthink, so you have to draw her out after you've given her enough time."
In the case of Wayans, Tan said the hardest thing she has to deal with was his moods, saying that Wayans "has far more moods than I do." To manage his moods, she's got "quiet calls" tucked under her sleeves. "I'd call and there'd just be silence. He knows I'm there, and I'll be ready to listen when he's ready to talk. The important thing is he knows I'll be here whether he wants me to be there or not."
Rule #3: Accept.
"Marcus is not perfect. He seems like it, but he's not," Tan revealed, debunking an age-old myth to hardcore Gezers. "To make a friendship work, you have to accept the person for who they are. Take the parts of themselves that they hate or don't like and help them learn to love them."
Rule #4: Little things do count.
Tan pointed to Wayans at this one, because she said he's the "expert" at little things. "Some notes, a real letter instead of an electronic one, flowers," Wayans revealed. "My favourite little thing from Cait is her care package," which Tan described as a themed box of goodies she sends him randomly. "One time, I got this Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-themed care package. Went for a couple of weeks on sugar rush due to it," Wayans beamed.
Rule #5: Tell the truth.
BothTan and Wayans swore by this, adding, "Always."
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