postmortum

you need me

the war is over. the battle has been won. But not for Hermiones hers only begun. 

Sitting on the curb of muggle london, watching cars zap by. Children skipping down the path with there mothers, like nothing could be safer for them. If only the muggles knew how close to doom they were a meer two months ago would they be so happy. Would they feel so safe. Thats all Hermione did thease days. Sat and wallowed, ussally with a bottle of vodka or a muggle ciggarette. How pathetic she had become. She hated herself for it.Hated the world for it. The burrow where she was formally living, had become to, bright. No one was okay. But she couldnt bring herself to go back. To much tea and hugs. it made Hermione more depressed then she already was. It was suffocating her from the inside out. 

She had broken up with ron a few days after the battlle. He kept wanting to touch her to feal her to talk to her. It was unbearable . Sure he was morning the loss of his brother, but he let it make himself bitter, and he took it out on her. Begging her trying to get her to do things she didnt want to , trying to get her to grive the way he wanted. He even blew up sevral mugs in the burrow, when she refused to stay awake with him. She was greiving to, he didnt care. He was never there for her when she woke up screaming. He didnt care when she blacked out in conversations intead he yelled at her, for waking him, or for being dizzy headed. Neadless to say their relationship was over.

Grimland place was a option. No one lived there it was simply abanded right now. Harry was planning on moving in there with Ginny, harry was training to become a aurrer this september along with Ronaled. and Ginny got a place with the hollyhead harpies. None planing on returning to hogwarts. However that was Hermiones best bet. She could study, and get away from anyone who intended to hug, or congradulate her. As of right now she was charming anything into muggle money. She was rich in war reparations. gifted one million gallens for her effort. The money currently sitting in gringos waiting for her. She had not collected a single penny. So instead she made muggle money, and paid to stay at hotels or small BnBs. Spending her days reading muggle books, watching muggle tv. she rarely used her wand unless necesary. 

thats where she was now sitting on the cold curb outside of a BnB, ran buy a old lady who reminded Hermione of her great aunt. Hermione had been staying there for the past three weeks. The old woman was never around, but when she was, would tell HErmione tales of her travels. Talk about animals, veiws, normal adventures, that made Hermione wish to be more normal. She would give her coffee with a drop of brandy, and sit in front of a newpaper, in the mornings. Ready to talk to Hermione about the news. The old woman was kind but didnt suffocate Hermione like the weasleys did. 

Hermione told her that she was a english soldier ruterened home, And didnt wish to discuss the fact much more. That was more then enough for the old woman. She told her about Harry and ron and ginny. And how she just couldnt face them right now. The old woman ofton shared a drink or six with her in the evening while watching cornation street.

Thats how evryday was. Untill she recived a letter from Hogwarts about her return. For the first time Hermione felt a small bit of dread to be returning to school. Would dead students ghosts be walking the halls, the ghousts of death eathers. The ghoust of someone she killed. Would the school look the same. Would it be awful, or great. she did not know. Either way she was returning.  Nothing could stop her. 

Hermione told the woman she would be returning to her education. The woman was estatic, she even went out and got her a leather bound notebook and fancy stainless steal pen. Hermione burst into tears at the gesture, had this little BnB become her life. Become her home. She held the woman in the same way as molly. like a mother.  For a short while Hermione was happy, albiet it came with a side of vodka, but it was happy. But right now two days before school is due to start. Sitting on a curb with a half empty bottle of vodka in her hands. Replaying the irst time she held a wand in her head, trying to remeber a time when magic made her happy. just when she opened her eyes a small black owl landed beside her, and peked her thigh. "biky, your notsupposed to be here" biky was Harrys new owl she was young and followed orders. This was the fourth letter Harry had sent her in the past two weeks, Ron had sent twelve. She threw each unoped letter into the fire. For some reason she opened this one.