The first time (we made love) (completed)

The First Time (we made love)

The first time they make love it's truly awkward.

Kongpob wants it to be loving and soft and all the things your first time should be with the person you love. But it's not.

Arthit is so painfully shy that he won't even discuss what they are doing, or are about to do. So the whole time that Kongpob is trying to initiate foreplay, Arthit is shying away from him and pushing him to go faster and just get on with it.

It's messy and not at all as satisfying as Kongpob wanted. It's just awkward.

And the sticky mess between their bellies that should be a sign of shared enjoyment?

It's more a sign of Arthit's embarrassment. Stroking each other in the dark. Not even a crack of light because every time Kongpob tried to even bring it up, Arthit shot him down.

And now, as he listens to Arthit fumble around in his bathroom, a wave of unease sweeps through him. Kongpob should have said no. He shouldn't have let it happen like this.

He feels like they shouldn't have even been touching each other at all. Feels guilty, like he forced Arthit into something he didn't really want to do.

But hell, Arthit had actually started it. Had been the one to touch Kongpob first. It had been a total shock and such a turn on that Kongpob could not have pushed him away if he had wanted to

But now, lying on his back, stomach coated in their combined release, guilt is cloying his brain. He should have been the more responsible one. Even if his Phi is older, he should have made him talk to him first. But he had been waiting for so long for Arthit to show him even a small sign that he wanted more than chaste kisses and companionship.

So he'd grasped at him the second he had made a move. And now, regret flushes his skin and he doesn't know what to do.

As Kongpob lies, guilt eating at his heart, his Phi stares at himself in his boyfriend's bathroom mirror.

"Oh my god! I just had sex!" Is the most prominent thought rushing through Arthit's head. "I finally worked up the courage. And it felt good with Kongpob." Comes next.

As he stares at his own reflection, he wonders if it shows on his face that he has finally experienced intimacy with another person. If he looks older or wiser or more like his friends who have been having sex for years.

He knows it was awkward, hasty and not very well thought out. But he feels good. The euphoria that rushed through his body as he came with Kongpob is still with him and he's shaking a little. Although that could be his nerves about facing his boyfriend now that they have finally touched each other intimately and heard each other's gasps of pleasure.

It's rarely covered in any book he's read or show he's seen - the aftermath of having sex with your partner. Usually the main characters just have a perfect first time and then they're at it like rabbits ALL the time and feelings about it aren't mentioned again.

But Arthit is going to have to leave this bathroom pretty soon. And Kongpob is definitely going to want to dissect in minute detail what they have just done together and what it means for them and what they should do next.

Hell, his boyfriend had tried to stop him from initiating sex with him to discuss all those things. But if he had been successful, if they'd paused, Arthit knows that he would have switched off and been unable to talk to him and they wouldn't have just done what they just did! And he's seriously glad they DID do it! Finally!

So...talking about sex? Overrated in Arthit's opinion. Touching Kongpob, stroking him until he was hard and until he came - much more satisfying!

But by now, his boyfriend has probably turned on the bedroom light, is probably all magically clean and dressed and is probably waiting for him with a smirk on his face at Arthit's eagerness, ready to have 'The Talk'.

And honestly, Arthit is kind of dreading it.

It's not a matter of not loving Kongpob. Of not wanting to talk to him about sex and their relationship. It's simply a case of Arthit feeling so unbearably shy that he can't join in with the conversation. And if they start to talk, he's definitely going to close down and then maybe Kongpob won't want to do this again with him. Won't be okay with them giving each other incredible orgasms that make Arthit's toes curl.

And Arthit doesn't want that. He doesn't want that at all.

So he's incredibly hesitant as he opens the bathroom door and sneaks out.

Kongpob hears the door and the sick feeling pools in his belly again.

He hasn't moved since Arthit leapt to his feet and fumbled to the bathroom. And he doesn't really know if he can.

His limbs feel like lead and his heart like a stone. He's lying here waiting. Waiting for Arthit to try and sneak out without speaking to him. Waiting for his boyfriend to leave and for him to be left alone with his heartbreaking thoughts.

But the bed suddenly dips beside him and a hesitant hand flutters over his on the mattress. Kongpob's heart leaps into his throat and his ears pound like a bass drum as he tentatively open his hand for Arthit's to slot into. In the soft light from the open bathroom door, he can just make out his Phi. But his expression is unknown.

Then Arthit shifts and they're both lying on their backs, hands linked between them, breaths heavy and uncertain.

It's only about thirty seconds, but for Kongpob it's sixty long beats of his heart, before his name is whispered between them.

It's clearly a question, but as he doesn't know how to answer, Kong ignores it. Just lies still and listens to his Phi suck in a ragged breath before he tries again.

"Kongpob? Umm... are you okay?"

He tries to breathe normally, but a shaky sob escapes instead.

Beside him, Arthit noticeably recoils, body rocking the bed a little.

Only...

Only, his fingers tighten around Kongpob's.

It's strange... Wrong somehow.

Not the reaction Kong expected.

When the fingers vanish from between his own, he sucks in a gasping breath.

That's the reaction he expected.

But then Arthit is rolling towards him and there are soft fingers in his hair and an arm, warm on his belly. And Kongpob can see the concerned expression on his boyfriend's face and hear the whispered words.

"Kongpob, are you okay?"

Then when he doesn't speak (he still can't), more.

"Love? I'm sorry, did I hurt you? Please... please talk to me baby."

It's the endearments that awaken him. Arthit has never said sweet words like those before. So Kongpob twists.

And in the shadows he whispers back.

The next time they make love, there's light illuminating slick skin. There are whispered endearments (and directions to improve their experience!). Arthit's eyes are flicking between his hand on his boyfriend's cock and his shining eyes and gasping out long moans as Kong touches him too.

And Kongpob doesn't feel sick. He feels love. Pure love. Okay, that and sparks of pleasure everywhere his 'darling' touches him!

And Arthit doesn't feel embarrassed, because they talked at a pace he was comfortable with and Kongpob didn't make him feel bad. Just loved.

And now he knows what it's like to make love properly and he's never going to stop just like the couples on TV!