𝔉𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯 𝔇𝔞𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔬𝔯 𝔇𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 Your Boyfriend Game Peter × Reader

Moving Forward

***18+ NSFW***

PJ was kind enough to gather my belonging from the apartment, I sat quietly in his Van, I could feel so many emotions wanting to bubble up and over take me, I didn't want to think about the weeks in the hole nor the months in the hospital. I just want to take the hottest shower humanly possible and eat something that's not a fucking cheeseburger and fries.
  I was significantly weaker than I was before, laying in a bed unable to care for oneself will do that to you.
I felt incredibly vulnerable and if I'm being honest that made me terrified. I already almost didn't make it because of how weak I was and now I was even weaker than ever. I had decided down in that hole that if I made it out I would learn to defend myself.

I damn sure will.

I leaned my head against the glass and closed my eyes feeling the sun against my skin was almost blissful. I never thought I'd feel so grateful for the heat and blinding light, I never wanted to be in the dark ever again.

Lucy...

I try to force back the tears, if I start crying now I won't be able to stop. It'll be a floodgate to everything that happened, and PJ has been trying so hard to help me.

It's pity...

A sigh escapes me as i cover my ears, even though that won't stop the words in my head.

He's only helping cause he pities you, he's the one that got you pregnant, he's the one who punched that guy, he's the one who-

"Shut up!" I yell out in the silent van. Squeezing my eyes shut as the words go silent. Being alone is almost unbearable now, these angry spiteful thoughts just come at an onslaught until I have a panic attack.

I jump out of my skin at the sound of PJ opening the back of the van.

"Hey its okay its just me!" He says placing down the box in his hand to come to the passenger door. He opens it gently to place a hand on my cheek,

"I'm okay..." I lean into the warmth of his touch as a single tear betrays me.

"Its okay to not be okay right now Younie, you've been through a lot. You don't have to pretend for my sake" he says before placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"Lets get you home so I can put some food in you." He says so sweetly it makes the panic melt away.

He knows just what to say... To make me feel like I'm gonna be okay...

I nod relaxing back into the seat, he smiles at me sweetly before returning to the back of the van. I sit the quietly waiting for him to return, even in the short absence I feel a knot of fear growing in my chest.

I'm pathetic... I can't just cling to him... He's done enough I'm just being selfish...

PJ climbs in the cab of the van turning to me with a sheepish smile.

"All packed up, are you ready to go? It's a bit of a drive so we can stop somewhere if you need to."

A bit of a drive? He said he came to town daily to go to that flower shop how far could it be?

"How far is it?"

"About 3 hours depending on traffic, it's quiet there so it's worth the drive."

He rests his hand on my thigh giving it a gentle squeeze.

"You drive six hours a day for a flower shop?"

He lets out a bemused chuckle looking over at me with a look I can only describe as sly.