Pain Or Love (Ongoing)

The situations scares me (20)

Mahir

"Where is she" i asked with the increasing fear in me to see her in situation i never wanted

"In private ward now" ruchika said hugging me with her just tear dried face

I ran to my mom's ward just to take a glance of her
Where tears were constantly flowing down...i can't control them...somewhere the thought 'to loose her' occupied my mind where my heart is trying to convince me that 'everything will be back to fine'

But who can stable the flow of emotions when comes to ur mother

As i entered her ward...i saw her aligned with lot medical machines
Gulped my suspiciousness which was increasing in 10 hours

As i saw her hostipal bed from the door...my legs betrayed me...my mind was trying to absorb the everything slowly

I slowly covered the distance with the uneasiness in me

i was two steps away from mom i can't see her properly but litterally that two steps felt like miles

Took a deep breathe to bear the most scariest dream in reality
Till the time i had a dried face as somewhere i felt relief maybe as after 10 long hours am gonna see her

When i heard ECG's beeping sound i saw her..with that again tear filled eyes...in that miserable state i never can even thought.....i felt like betrayed...like someone lied to me...like i don't know

I hugged her tight i won't let her go...everything meaningless without her

When i heard about her.....first i didn't believed it bcz she alaways pranks me like this on camera...but today the thing haunted me 'her absence'

As i weeped engulfing her tightly in my arms...felt a touch on my back.
"Control....she's fine now" it was ruchika who is now trying to console me

I turned to find her crying bcz of me maybe...but it is a breakdown moment for both of us

Where only the thing is annoying me that mom didn't told me about her illness...if she did it will not lead up like this

I felt defeated infront of situations...i already lost my dad but still mom was there for us to feel loved....taking care of every need

She played both role very well...there's always a void when u not have a hand which teach u how to hold on ur life...but mom never made me feel like am a single parent child
...now at her deprivation...she needed me the most and i wasn't there

This proved am a irresponsible son...i ruined her all teachings...she don't deserve a chilld like me

But i love u mom

The knock on door made me realise the reality, wiped my tears with every cyncism i did to my own family

"Bela" it escaped from my mouth bcz of Sudden shock on presence here

I didn't expected her here i thought ruchika handled everthing alone
I was guilty to leave my family alone here