Snape x chubby!reader: //A New Chapter//

1

/Word count 3220 ish/

It was late, almost two in the morning. The sun would be up soon, and yet Severus was out, drowning himself in booze.

The air hit him coldly, the smell carrying the, now, familiar scent of bottlebrush nectar and dirt that was so characteristic in this area of town. As he was thrown half heartedly from the bar.

"Move on Sev, honestly, 't's every night your in 'ere. Your aura turns the place sour" the young man Severus had come to know as John lectured, giving him a pitiful smile and shake of his head before turning, "an' be takin' care o' yourself, for God's sake" he added over his shoulder, leaving him all alone. With his own unforgiving mind.

'After the war, everything changed. I had thought myself dead, yet miraculously I survived. No one has ever escaped with their life after facing the Dark Lord, or Nagini's wrath. Only, Harry Potter.

'The Chosen One.'

I would be happy with death. My life should have ended that night. I don't know if this is some kind of sick torture, to live after so many witches and wizards have died to my hand.

Or Maybe the twisted gods above have some plan for me. Pitiful really, I'm actually hopeful, that there is some reason I was kept alive. But here I am. Pretending to be dead, living God knows where in the middle of Australia, of all the places I could have fled.

I tried to do good and yet I failed. I failed because of the people I had to let down. The people I had to sacrifice. And it was all my fault to begin with. Me and my stupid, insufferable ego. Cost the life of the one I loved most. Yet I still couldn't help myself, trying to play the hero.

I really am a coward. Too scared to face my mistakes. Too scared to look Pott-, ... Harry in the eyes. That dumb boy. So arrogant, and yet in the end he was right. I'm an evil, cowardly person. I deserve this punishment of ongoing life. I deserve to stand here drunken on the corner of the street, no matter how many drinks I have downed, still remembering, feeling, wishing no more than the sweet release of death, yearning for the stars to simply suck me up and swallow me whole, so I may drown in endless darkness. But that bliss is far more than I deserve. '

Severus sways slightly, digging in his pockets to produce a quaint packet of cigarettes. His head still heavy with intoxication.

His body slumped against the cold concrete wall of the pub. Licking his thin lips he placed the tightly wrapped cigarette between them, pulling a shiny silver flip lighter from his cloak pocket flicking it, over and over till it finally lit.

Taking a drag he blew it up to the sky, his face warm with tears. The smoke mesmorising him, ever so briefly. He stayed there for several moments, wallowing in his own self hatred, tears relentless. However still somehow capturing a man of elegance, even here.

On the dirty street outside of a nameless pub. It was hard for a man so handsome, even in his age, to look bad anywhere. Even now the crisp black of his cloak and disheveled shoulder length hair, cast his tall lanky image so perfectly against the pale deteriorating concrete wall he leaned on.

The wind tossing his hair lazily into his muted face, his gloomy obsidian eyes contrasting in the moonlight. Whilst plumes of smoke rose above him, evaporating.

~~
You are sitting on a rotted wooden bench out side the local pub no further than one street away from your house, feeling lonely.

After the war you had lost so many loved ones. And even though you won, and it was so long ago, every now and then it crept up on you, like a shadow.

Normally you could just brush it off, remind yourself you did all you could. But tonight, you just needed a cigarette and some company.

You shivered against the cold, your body tightly wrapped in just your trackies and a crop top, the house was so warm you forgot how brutal the night breeze can be, you left the house without a second thought for a jumper or cloak.