Vivid Dreams

My Time

The next day, I did my same morning routine again, Que joined me this time also, prepared my coffee, took my phone and book with me and found the most comfortable spot on the sofa, and took the blanket on me, and just cuddled with myself up. 
Normally Namjoon would just come and sit next to me and read something but he was gone early today, all of them had different schedules this week so, it was all the time like some of them was at home with us. I didn't see Que and Jimin going out so much together, I think they wanted to be safe and sound together. I mean, they don't need to go out to spend quality time together also, my brain is so foggy today,
I keep thinking about my dream... 

- What are you thinking about Marw? Que interrupted my thoughts suddenly.
- Nothing, actually mm I'm thinking about going back soon. I'm so happy to see you happy and comfortable here but I don't have any reason to stay. You have Jimin and that's why they are welcoming you. 
- Why? No, where do you wanna go? They all like you also, you don't need to go.
- I don't know, it's okay, I can live alone also.
- Please stay a bit more, we can think about this and if you move, I'll come with you and I'll stay with you, we just need a bit bigger place in case if Jimin wanna come and stay also. 
- Que, you really don't have to come with me, I really can stay alone. 
- I know you can't sleep alone in an apartment Marw, you are afraid. 
- Well, I did sleep alone so many times, remember? H was gone, you were here. 

I realized that I said the last part a bit aggressive, she got silent and just sat next to me for a while. 
- Sorry... I said.
- Just stay a bit longer, I'm sure you are here now for a reason, and please don't turn back there because he will find you again, and I don't want you to be in that stupid H circle again. I know I always supported you and him but I didn't want to upset you, he is really not good for you, please, at least stay here, we can find you an apartment, they would help also. We thought Namjoon is interested in you, she smiled.
- No, no, we are really just friends and he is just so kind and understanding, that's all. Probably he enjoys that someone is just sitting and reading with him without annoying him, you know, I looked at her and smiled back.
- Okay, if you say so but, she looked around her to check if we were alone in the room, what about Jungkook? Did you talk with him?
- The other day, he was here in the kitchen, and I and Namjoon turned back home, he literally ran away, he said he feels nervous because of the grammy and he said he wanna go for a workout. And then he left. 
- I saw him, he was looking at you the other day. 
- Where?
- You were cooking, he likes food, did you give him also?
- I don't know, maybe, I give everyone whoever is here at the moment. 
- I know him, he is just trying to understand your behaviors now, he will come closer. 
- I don't expect anything to be honest.
- I know this, I think everyone knows this but you know your dreams always have a reason behind them, or they basically just happen. So, just try to talk a bit, that's all. Even if nothing happens, you need to talk, there must be a reason why you saw him like this in your dream.
- Okay, I'll try, I looked at her.
- And please, don't go suddenly. 
- Alrigggghhhhttttt, I looked at her and she knew I had enough, I'm such an impatient person sometimes. 

-

She went upstairs and I started to think about my options again, since I came here, H was sometimes texting me to check if I'm still alive but other than that, we lost the connection and everything. I knew that he will appear out of nowhere again one day but till that day, I couldn't live like this. I mean, I really liked Seoul because it had this weird aesthetic feeling in it and it made me become a calm person somehow and I have to be honest, it felt like home also. So, I decided to stay a bit more, maybe I can leave after the Grammy nomination thing because my disappearance might affect Que, and Que's mood would affect Jimin also. So, I decided to stay a bit longer. 

-

That day, I was mostly alone at home, I mean with alone I meant without Namjoon at that moment because I was always with him like I was his tail. However, he was busy with work, so I took my laptop and decided to go out with it but whenever I went out, Que was sending me so many BTS related videos and pictures all the time, she knew that I enjoyed their music and contents from them that's why she kept sending. 

I didn't watch every single thing that she sent me all the time but she wrote like;
 " Can you please watch this for me, please?"
I was at that really cute Cafe, I put on my earphones and I started the video; 

After the video, I was in a big shock, to be honest. 
The Jungkook that I was seeing at home and this Jungkook that I watched at the video was completely different than each other. I could not believe my eyes and I found it really "beautiful" also. Let's call it like this. 
I took my phone and texted Que like;

" Oh. My- God. How I'm gonna look at him at home now, this is really mmm!!!!"

She knew that I will like this, she knows me better than myself probably, why I'm even surprised at that point. 

-

I got up from the Cafe and called Namjoon, I was so confused in my head at that moment. I talked with him on the phone and told him that I would like to cook Bibimbap for everyone because I never tried to cook it before so I'd like to try and I asked him to help me, we agreed to meet at home in 1,5 hours. 

- 

Que was waiting for me with a HUGE smile on her face because she knew that I'd be shy now. Normally I'm not a shy person at all, I'm quite touchy and flirty even but sometimes, I don't know, I get really shy and it is unfortunately so obvious. I hate it, really. I don't have any control over this. 

At that point, I was just so happy that Jungkook decided to stay in his room again or I don't know maybe he was not even at home. Taehyung came next to me to the kitchen and asked what I'm doing, I said I would like to try to make Bibimbap and he said, he wants to eat it too and I promised him to save some for him when I'm done also. He was so soft to me all the time, everyone at home told me that I am really lucky that he liked me because he tends to protect his friends so much and if he wouldn't like me, he would give me one of his death stares, they told me. I mean, he was literally like a kid around me, I really enjoyed his aura a lot. 

- 

Que came next to me while I was cutting some vegetables and said;
- Soooo, how did you like it? 
- Can you please let me breathe? 
- Just tell me, did you like it? Mmm? 
- Yes, I did like it, It was a beautiful song, I was feeling like my cheeks were burning, and the performance was also really, mm good. 
- I knew it, she giggled and hugged me tightly.
- Ah, go away now, I'm hungry I wanna cook, go please, I laughed also. 

Right, when I was done with cutting the vegetables, I heard Namjoon's voice literally screamed;
- EVERYONE! IM HOME! from the entrance, sometimes he was so loud, it was funny.
-Hey Joonie
- Hey Maarw, sorry sorry I am a bit late, there was traffic on the way
- Nah, it's okay, just help me with the recipe, I smiled. 
- Where is it? Let me read it? What did you do till now?
I explained him briefly and I heard Que said;
- Please Marw, don't let him do something in the kitchen. He is so clumsy. 
- Ya! Que, this is rude, you know, Namjoon said, why no one lets me be in the kitchen, I try my best all the time. 
He was looking like a giant baby at that point, so cute. 
- It's okay Namjoon, just read it for me, will you? I smiled,
Then suddenly Jimin yelled;
- OOOHH JUNGKOOK- AH!
- Jimin-shiiiii, he said in a funny way, but I didn't care about this part at that moment because the second that he entered the room I started to feel so nervous and I tried to keep my eyes down and not look at him, I don't think I could be able to handle with him now, not after that video at least. 
- Should I help you?, he said, ah perfect, TODAY he decided to talk with me, amazing. 
- Ya! Jungkook-ah, come help her, I wanna go and take a shower, Namjoon said. I could hear Que was giggling from the sofa, AH I hate her now. 
- What should I do? What are you cooking now? he was looking around in the kitchen,
- Bibimbap, I said slowly but unlike the other days, I was not looking at him at all and just acting like I'm so busy with cutting stupid vegetables at that moment.
- Ah, I know how to do it, did you prepare the sauce for it? I can do it.
- Sure, you can do it, I could talk really silent because he was making me so nervous at that moment, I could smell his perfume because he was standing close and he was not shy today, it was making everything difficult. 
Suddenly he stopped and asked me;
- Why are you not looking at me? Are you running away from me? but I could hear the way how he was speaking that he was smiling.
- Me? No, I'm not running, I'm here
- But you are not looking at me at all
Then I looked at him and he looked at me back and smiled.
- Happy? 
- Yes-u yes-u, he said to be funny.
I could see that Que and Jimin were having so much fun because of this situation, I hated them both.