The woman with a painted face

Why me

I used to sit up at night asking myself why me .what did I do that made this person so angry ,All the time why was my face my arms my stomach the target. All I've ever wanted in my life was to be loved and yeah this person did love me. They just use their fist sometimes more often then they use their words. He used to kick me in my stomach pull my hair bite me slap me around . Even told me I was worthless that I would never amount to anything . And for the longest I believed him .

I thought my own family didn't love me they never wanted me. So maybe what he was saying was true. I was never told I was beautiful I never felt the warmth from anyone. So when an older man paid attention showed me affection. By telling me I was beautiful that he could take care of me .I fell for everything he told me .All the lies it was just so he could control me and for a very long time he did . I would go to school and had to check in with him every chance I got. And that's when it all started the day that changed everything for me.

I was at school and it was a half day but I didn't tell him. I went to my friends house to study then get ready for work. That's when he called and asked me. How my classes were going I told him it was a half day. That I was with my friends he heard a guys voice in the background. His voice changed when he asked where I was I told him a friend house. That I was getting ready for work so I will talk to him when I got off work. He was in the parking lot of my job until I got off . I got in the car not thinking anything of it . Because he always took me home but I sensed something was wrong . I was right we went to his house that was normal on the weekends. We walked into the house and I put my stuff down.

Went to the use the bathroom I opened the door. And that's when the first punch hit my face and he kept going . No matter how loud I screamed he finally stopped . Like the switch came on and he realized. What he had done I closed the door locked it and sat on the floor crying . Cleaning myself up while he was on the other side, crying telling me he was sorry for everything and me not knowing what love it I believe he was sorry . So I opened the door and forgave him but did it stop there no . Over the next seven months I got beat all the time . I became a master at makeup to cover up my bruises. But the bruising on the outside wasn't nearly as deep as it was on the inside . This man had broken me . He took something from me but I would never get back. Its like every man in my life took everything . From me the light that was  inside of me was gone. He didn't care he didn't even apologize after. He would just laugh in my face. And when I cried it only made him even more angry. So he would hit on me more. I asked why what did I do to deserve this he said bitches like you need to be broken in.
So to all my women out there it's okay to seek out help. Don't let anyone try break your spirit. The light that is within you is brighter then you know.