Lovely Hues | Fillie AU

Chapter Twenty Two

So that was it. Millie had been right all along. She wasn't meant to be with anyone. To be in a loving relationship with a man. To be married. Maybe that's the lesson she was supposed to learn from Finn. Her mother had always said that every person you meet comes into your life to teach you something.

Louis had taught her about love. Then taught her about loss. And Noah taught her about re-emerging and how to reconnect to her goofy side. She had friends in school that taught her lessons about betrayal and trust and friends who taught what the word friend really meant. When she looked at all relationships she'd had with people, she could see the pattern of learning that came along with them. And Finn was no different.

As he walked away from her house that morning, slowly stepping onto the sidewalk, looking so torn that she almost told him she was wrong and he should stay, she was already completing a post-mortem in her mind about everything that had transpired between them. It kept her from running to him and selfishly pulling him back to her.

She remembered when they met. He had crashed into her life like the force of nature that he was. She thought of all of their assumptions about each other then how they decided to pursue each other once all of their misinterpretations were corrected. She thought of their first date, how upset she was when it ended, but then how Finn made her feel better. He made her feel safe. Loved. Wanted.

She looked outside but he was already out of sight. She began to tear up and was immediately enveloped in a massive hug by her big brother.

"I'm sorry, but I heard everything." He said, "I'm not going to say whether or not I agree with what just happened, but I'm proud of you Mills."

She nodded and closed her eyes.

"I also don't think this means you two are through. . ." he said. "I wouldn't write him off just yet."

She didn't say anything though. She didn't want to give herself that false hope. Because that's what it was. False. He wasn't coming back. Finn was right when he said this could take years, if he even accomplished what he set out to do. Millie had her doubts about that for sure. But to think that somehow they would be able to be together at any point in the future, near or far, was a fool's dream. She didn't like being a fool.

All she could really hope for now was that Finn would leave soon and that she could try to forget him and the dreams he awoke within her. She'd focus on helping Chloe plan her wedding. On giving advice to Sadie who so badly wanted to be with Caleb but was afraid of what could happen. She had a lot to focus on to bring her mind away from Finn and she kept trying to force her mind to those issues, but the longer she held on to her brother, the harder that seemed to be. It was like his arms were a cloak of reality, not allowing her to avert her attention from her true feelings.

When she broke down and allowed full, thick tears to emerge from her eyes, her brother sat her down and rubbed her back the way their mother used to. He shushed her and his voice was calm.

"You'll be alright, Millie. I'm not going anywhere. Your kids aren't going anywhere."

"I know." she whimpered, "It just hurts."

"I know," He said. It sounded like he wanted to say more, but he just exhaled and said that he knew, again.

Thankfully, all three of her children slept well past their usual wake-up times. It allowed her to compose herself and figure out what she was going to tell Louisa. She knew that her daughter wouldn't ask about Finn, because she hadn't asked about anything in years. It wouldn't be fair to her though to not say anything. Louisa really liked Finn. She adored him, really. And Millie needed to break the news of his departure to her carefully.