Three Words

Nakatingin ako sa dagat na marahang umaalon. Nakaupo sa buhangin at hinahayaang yakapin nito ang aking mga paa. Napapikit ako nang marahang sumayaw ang hangin sa 'kin. Nadama ko ang lamig. Ang gaan. At ang katahimikan. Ang saya.

I opened my eyes. "How long has it been?" I asked, glancing at the woman sitting beside me while her hair dances with the wind.

She stared at me. "Three years?" She smiled. It feels different-her smile is different. "How have you been?" she asked.

"Still the same. Nothing had changed. Encircling myself with work and home."

"Walang jowa?"

I shook my head. "Wala. And I am fine with it." She laughed, shaking her head. "But I am glad right now," I added.

"Are you glad of being single or because we've seen each other after three years?" she asked while her smile was still plastered on her face.

"Yeah, of course I am glad to see you. It has been so long." I looked at her. "What I meant is that I'm glad that you are smiling."

"My smile isn't new, Shaun." She pointed her smiling lips. "Lagi kaya akong nakangiti. Parang hindi ka na nasanay."

Tipid akong napailing. "I'm glad that you are smiling genuinly," paglilinaw ko sa kaniya. "It feels different from before. Your smile is now complete and not shallow. As well as your eyes. They both now painted with joy," I said.

Kahit kaibigan ko siya mula noon, her smile is not as colorful as now. In retrorespect, I haven't made her smile like that before. I bet there is something that might provoked that curved lips-or maybe someone.

Someone.

She laughed, looking at the small waves in the see that creates a calm and relaxing sound. It is as if it also waves your thoughts through peace.

"You can tell?" she asked.

I nodded. "We have known each other for so long. It is not hard to see the changes of you." I removed some crumbs of sand on my toes since it somehow bothering me. But there is something that bothers me the most.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You're already asking." She smirked.

I took a deep breath then slowly exhailing the air together with my doubt. And said, "why did you leave?" I paused for a second and maintained my gaze at her. Her reaction altered. "You left in a blink of an eye. You left me without holding any reasons why. I tried to look for you but ended up damp squib. You also had cut your social medias and changed your number. Then after three years, you will text me to come to this place as if nothing happened?" I breathed, trying to maintain my composure. "You're my friend for a long time, Prim. I know you can imagine how worried I was that day."

"Tell me, may problema ka ba dati?" I added.

She closed her eyes and breathed heavily-maybe she's contemplating her reasons. To be frank, I'm not angry at her, I know she has an acceptable reason behind her dissaperance. She rarely opens her problems to someone-I am the only person she trust to talk with-so maybe she has a problem that neither the others nor myself could know.

Nanatili siyang nakapikit nang ilang segundo. Hindi ko alam kung nahihirapan ba siya o ayaw niya lang sabihin ang dahilan niya.

"It's me," she suddenly said as her eyes opened. "I'm the problem," she added.

"So it is niether something nor someone that brings her problem but herself?" I thought.

"You're right, I looked empty before. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang kulang sa akin. Ang alam ko lang ay may gusto ang kalooban ko na hindi ko mapunan. It is the kind of emptiness that even you-the closest person to me-couldn't fill the space inside myself"